Wednesday, June 30, 2010


It is one of those days that I felt lost, If I would grab a book I would let it go after a minute for lack of enthusiasm, The same if I have had a try with a brushes or pens, nothing made me feel relax, Even in the afternoon I though my body was screaming for a rest but soon as this body felt the cushion cried to not lay down, provoking the real world, It would be much more easy if the body would help the mind and dived in a good sleep. Tomorrow is already the day for the CT scan and what is coming to the light it is unbelievable too important, I think all days before the exams that I am ready for everything that comes from this, But afterwards when the CT scan days eve arrived I realised that I am never prepared for this and its possible consequences. In Friday I should know the details about the results and I am not counting only with the holding hands of Justyna and Olivia but all of you. It is sad to know, but when I think deeply I know that the best news it will be only the postponing of the catastrophe.
What gave me some energy was a walk with Olivia and meeting other kids in the Play centre, Now, whenever I go out with Olivia we always go provided with a plastic bag to pick up her feces.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Bullying father

Finally the proof that I was needing to show how much Olivia bad treats me and bulling me all the time. She uses her position as a child and knowing her reputation as an angel baby to get on with a dominate attitude towards me. It as been difficult for me to show evidences of this fact, but this picture I hope will show what is my calvary every single day. Today you can still see the bruises in my face. The day would not finish without another slap from the Spanish team in Portugal and some stomach pain on me because of the result. But no more comments about that match.

Also, because the match that really matter to me it has another chapter through the end of the week, Tomorrow will be my last day to rest, after it will come a CT scan and Friday hopefully know the result about my match.

The best news of the day come from Justyna, She had been told about her mark of the last essay and it was very good again, 78%. Congratulations for my love.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Georgina Bush

Finally we are having a taste of Summer, For me the best of the Summer is not the beach or bikinis but the Watermelon on the table and the fish BBQ outside. Even without the queen of the BBQ, the sardines, we play down with the duchess Corvina in our small grill in the evening.
Olivia took a step further and dressed her swimming suit and of course had her sunglasses on, This made me feel too embarrassed because of lack of style from myself. I am sure it was not only me feelling embarrassed. In the park me and Olivia already found a tree that becomes our spot, its shadow is fresh and inspiring, and also has a wonderful bush in its back to Olivia do her piss and poo with privacy.
Olivia in the afternoon seeing her mum reading also wanted to copy and took a book to read, just I noticed the same book was been reading up side down, This made me remember the famous scene with George Bush reading a book to a kids in a classroom with the book also upside down, So today witnessing this I straight thought that in the end the former USA president was not so fool as I thought.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Hottest day

For along time I have not seen such a hot day in this latitudes, almost around 30's. It is so rarely to witness such a a day that we must try to do as much as possible to be outside, shame that this Football World cup keeps keeping us indoors. Because of we are passing so much time in the sofa and feeling guilty today we tried to compensate Olivia with an ice cream and also Shubhy offered her first pop-corn. I believe she can complain that her first pop corn experience it was not watching a movie but instead a football match.

Nevertheless, in the spare time left we had a lovely shower outdoors remembering last year in the Algarve. Of course Olivia wants to do everything alone and did not lose the opportunity to also water the plants of Shubhy's garden, I am sure the flowers will feel her sweat touch.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

#Cavalos de corrida#

The day was beautiful, Sun shining all day long, shame the day been so short, as usual. Nevertheless we managed to go for walk through the country, We were happy to do some friends in the fields among the eqqus caballus, the horses I think were also happy to meet us, they were all very friendly. After Olivia did one more friend, now a hairy cat. Afterwards when we backed home I did not want to lose the inspiration and took on the shoulders a work to paint the same horses. I hope this means myself back to the easel and having a great time with the brushes and paints.
Probably due to this wild atmosphere Olivia found her inspiration to have her first day totally free of nappy, It is true that in the morning was a small incidents but she is more and more familiar with the potty.
There is a spot in my road where a group of people try to bring together to speak or just meet people, and of course the tea is free, so I am always there.
Witnessed the Sun setting in the park

Friday, June 25, 2010


The day could have been sensational was not myself coward, All started yesterday when Miriam told me that she is going soon to see alive Pearl Jam in Lisbon, After this I thought to myself Is this Tour also coming to London, But, I forgot to checked yesterday and only today in the afternoon I checked in the Internet, and guess what? They play here and the concert was planned for tonight, This it was already 6.00 PM, But I felt something strong inside me telling that I should do everything possible to be there as well, Then I text, I called for a few numbers that I found in the Net selling tickets, But the confirmation came already very close to the time and late considering one hour in the transports to get to the Hyde Park where was the concert. Thinking in advance I learnt that I should just go straight to the gates and for sure I would find somebody selling my ticket.

Probably what happened today is a mirror what my Life is going through, I am very negative, do not doing enough to be happy, do not trust in the lucky, Sometimes we just need to run to catch something good. Thus, I did not go, I did not take a risk, and I was left in sofa seeing passing by something that I am sure I would enjoy very much.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

A arvore dos abracos

In the morning Justyna went with Oli to meet Anetta, Adriano's partner in order to help her enroll in a GP, Justyna is trying to give some support now that she is pregnant and because of she arrived just few months ago her in London, she is not totally familiar with all the procedures yet.

Without the princesses and with a strong Sun shining outside I went for a walk around, without any route planned I just walked through some roads I have not been yet, but for coincidence or not where I ended up? I went until the local Hospital, It looks that I really missed. But at least I know where to find it now, but hopefully I will not needed it. On the way back I sat in a bench in a lovely park and I tried to rest and read a book, but unfortunately the garrote that asphyxia all the time my tummy did not let me relax and soon I moved to another shelter, Now to the library, close to my house where I read the daily newspapers. But, the problem was that I do not know how to live anymore without been with my princesses. Thus, I decided to come home and just wait for them.

Then I felt much better, doing meditation, read my book in warmth of the house and even I did the first moves to resume my career as an artist, I brought the brushes and also read few notes that I will need to paint my aim.

After few hours of course I felt even better when finally Justyna and Oli arrived, then we not only missed each other but also a good sleep, thus in the afternoon all the set went to sleep.

The weather was so good that the dinner was outside in the garden, were not the mosquito around the meal would be perfect, This sounds the same complain I have always when in the Algarve.

Later the moon was waving in front of my house, all the week I can see it from my window, every day and also today Olivia before bed and books went to the window and reply with kisses and good wishes to our mother moon. She tells us from her house up in the top how small and dependent from her and grandmother Sun we are. Funny that in the book that I read after to Olivia from Jose Jorge Letria, A arvore dos abracos, also the Nature was influencing and filling up the soul of the Human being with best-Love. This tree was giving hugs with its tender branches to the lonely children and after to all the people. It was a pleasure to read the story to Olivia, hopefully she will have a dream about the book I will try myself.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Father's day-version Polish

As I said before it will be difficult to Olivia in the future remember about the multi father's day throughout the year and either painful the expenses that she regularly will face to buy me good presents, Something that I will not be condescending :)

The best present I can have is to stay with Oli, and today we been almost all day outdoors, She met few friends in the park and did few more friends among the birds and squirrels, She firstly spread food and bread to feed them and after joined them and ate the same bits of bread, A girl that will never be hungry.

I used to joke with Justyna, because of her tendency to to lists for everything, even if she tells that she picked up that habit from me, something that I did not know, But now on I am also addicted with the List, Only with support of that chart I can survive, I do lists for what I need to buy in the market, even if we are speaking about two or three items, list for where to call, List where to go, We both become slaves of the List. Miss when I was not addicted with the List, or listless.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

'Lianor descalça vai para a fonte'

This morning again we could be sure that the Summer started, In fact the good weather come one day late again, It was yesterday the first day of the Summer and the Solstice. I always have a bad feeling towards the Summer Solstice, As it is from here that the days will become shorter and shorter and the Winter will also approach. It is a very dark and negative point of view but it is here where I live. Shame that I do not have the same type of thought in relation to the Winter Solstice.

Olivia is learning how to take full advantage of the Park, She is not only looking for the sliders and swings but also for the shadow of the trees, I appreciate much that side. It is great to be seating with her reading a book. She even was in barefoot to feel the freshness of the moment.

These days I am with a bloated belly what gives me a lot of discomfort and brings my moral to ground point, but I already know that one day I will fell better, So I just need to carry on. And to look good when the day will come why not cut the hair today. Adriano is over the top because he is now expecting to be a father.

Monday, June 21, 2010


Today I thought I would have excuses to be in a football mood, this because the Portugal team was playing and apparently played good, But No, Olivia feeling that I am more close to the football transmissions and further away from her, in the evening when I was trying to play with her she said to go instead to my new football friend. Typical emotional blackmail which hurt me severely.
Unfortunately today when we went to the park, of course after football, her friends were not there any more what made her even more upset with me. Without friends her attention turned to her books and food. The other kids in the park were surprised to see a girl reading instead of playing and running.

Back home in the evening Olivia took her time to go around with her cleaning, She wiped her house and all her things in the garden but also watered the flowers. Like mother, when upset with me they turned her attentions to the house work leaving me alone :(

Finally to be registered for the History is the fact that Olivia tonight fall asleep alone.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Father's day-version UK

Olivia is now got use to the Sunday Eucharist, I do not know if is because of the its symbolism or instead, because of she thinks that the Ostia that the priest offers is a white chocolate bar, Today she wanted to have a go and said that Oli wants chocolate. After the morning church session we moved quick to Veena's house because of the football session was just about to start, It was long with three matches. Not brilliant games but some moments of interest. Hopefully Brazil has opened slightly the door for the Portuguese team also going through. If Olivia did not find chocolate in the Church she would find in Veena's house, It was a mega choc cake cooked by Justyna to restore the peace with our friend Krishna, the things been very bitter in the last days :) Now friends as ever and forever, with a blood pact.

At the same time I was distracted focused on the games Olivia mastered by Krishna crafted and offered me a lovely card, regarding to my role as a father, Difficult to follow and do not forget this events, because for me are three Father's day, one in Portugal, another in Poland and this one in UK.

The only dim side is because of Olivia been so exited with this day out she only fall asleep in the end of the afternoon, so now lets hope she will sleep through the night, If not just one more night of disarray.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Deus ex machine

Since yesterday I am in shock with the news from the death of our Jose Saramago, I am saying Ours, because I feel him as a closer of mine, To him I opened what I have more sacred-my spirit and my soul. With him I spent hours of really joy and pleasure reading what He was saying only to me in my sofa. Each time it was announced one more book from Him, been faraway here in UK, I started to count all the days and hours that a friend would come from Portugal to visit me and would bring me His last work. Then, for a days I would know that the most beautiful dream was guaranteed. I confess that I did not read all his works but I hope I still be on time for that. Since yesterday he become immortal with his legacy done more than it is required for a Human Being. I have the faith that a day come and we will see some unpublished work or something forgot in one of his drawers, I want to believe on that. At least today he become a hero of Ours, for all us.
The days are passing and the Oil stain in the Golf it is still thicken, Looks that the solution will not come from the sky but probably from an American Hero, from Kevin Costner and his machine. I am still confuse if is this real or taken from a ridiculous Science Fiction Hollywood movie. I am now waiting for also the best end of this movie. Otherwise it will be me who will come out with the next brilliant invention to sort out all the oil stains if not in Golf at least in the clothes.

To have our lunch we walked down to Shubhy's house, the snacks that was waiting for us was divine, the Pani Puri and the Bhelpuri are in my belly and also in my hurt. But not only the food was good but first of all the company, Today we had Ryan and Neil also on the table. Neil come down for the weekend, It was wonderful to see him again, after his holidays and his first days as a doctor.

Jumping Jack

With some sweat and hours sleepless Justyna finished and submitted this morning one more Essay, Last night I was also awoke until later to help her with the final touches, So throughout the day we both looked like zombies, because the princess Olivia was already awoke at 7.30Am and wanted somebody to read her a book. But because of she been all the week with motherhoodless today we presented her with more mother as ever, thus in the morning we all went for her first session of Jumping Jack, as the name suggests it was a time for a lot of jumps and stretches, Her first approach to the military life.

Unfortunately also today we felt our space invaded by the first viewers that want to buy our flat, The things does not looking good for us, but the Life needs to move on. Justyna and Olivia had a quieter evening at the same time I accepted the invitation of Maria and went to watch the England's football match in the company of Mike, John, Robs and Alex. The atmosphere never exploded because of the England never impressed during the match, The things only turned hotter about a philosophical discussion.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

In the house market again

Olivia is getting closer and closer with her friends, She looks more confident with her friends, She is using a trick bringing the kids to her field, playing around books. Everything got its time. We are in the edge of another headache, Our house is now in the house market to sell it and tomorrow there are already a buyer that is coming to view it. Soon probably is our turn to look for another shelter for us. At the same time I have also my house in Portugal without nobody, I am not a lucky person from the housing point of view. But the Life is this, needed to be taken as it comes :) The smile never can goes.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Driving and eating :(

I will try to use a break of Justyna while she went to toilets, to write my lines of the day. Justyna is again in last minute marathon to finish another essay. All day I been trying to keep Olivia out of home to distract her and Justyna could focus in her work. With so many hours pass in the park and in child centres and moreover with the fact that I am a father I am sure that I am already the most famous father of this centres.
Today Olivia did another friend, a lovely Brazilian boy. I was speaking with is mother and surprisingly a lot of times I need to ask what some words meant, looked that we were not speaking the same language, For example would you know that Escorrega in Portuguese from Portugal, the Portuguese Brazilian says Escorregador, and other examples. It was a good time with them, Great and lovely people. The days been so busy that we forgot about Olivia's name day, It was yesterday the day of the St. Olivia. She will need to be compensated.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


Few things came to the light today, Firstly and finally Justyna have been told from her job that she does not need to go back to her former job but also she does not need to give back the money from the time she was at maternity leave. Good news because would be a considerable amount, This exception in her case it was only possible because of the circumstances of I have been sick and needing her care. But also important it was our meeting with our Landlady. In the beginning she gave us notice to leave the house in middle of September, she also explains that she needs to sell the house because of having some financial problems. Nevertheless she will consider again because we told her that we would be open to increase the rent in order to keep into the house. Even she now invited us for a BBQ next week, so probably we can speak more open about the options.
In the afternoon I went to the pub with John and I enjoyed to see the match between Portugal Ivory Coast, not a brilliant match but a good result in my point of view considering my hopes or lack of those in this team. But this is all sport. Funny the way I am taking this World Cup, I have not watched a full match so far, comparing with the other ones I am really much more disinterested this year. I guess, is the life taught few more things. I only know that nothing is permanent or guarantee, this also serves for the Death.

To end the day in big I went to the park with Olivia and we witnessed a lovely and inspiring sun set.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Anti-Social baby

Again back to the ground, the life become more dark and boring, with the same problems as usual, From the sky only come raining, nothing else. During the day we went to the park to Olivia play and stay with her pears. Probably because of Olivia being younger than her friends she never enjoys so much playing with her bunch of friends, Definitely I think she also needs more contact with smaller kids, from her age to increase her social skills.

In the morning I had a phone call that stills distresses me, It was our Landlady telling that she pretends to sell her propriety and our house, Then she will come tomorrow to discuss with us the future. Difficult to not think about that as we all love our House.