Thursday, April 30, 2009

Good signs

It is with all the happiness that I should tell today, that it was a day with a lot of progress at all areas. A small infection I had in my wound it looked that improved, it presents less red, also some liquid that was still leaking from inside has by now stopped. The tummy is also definitely more relax and less expanded doing the time after meals much easier for me. And finally my legs and feet that swollen due to the days in hospital has almost dropped to the normal size. To carry on in the best way we went today for a longer walk, very slow but it was good to fell again the firm floor, in some way also independent.

Though all this I am not feeling such a happy man, at least I could not today, probably because all has been so difficult and the harbour is not on the sight yet. I am not looking anymore for that. But this does not matter at the moment, the news are to celebrate.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009


Today I had a commitment in the hospital, an appointment with the dermatology team, regarding with a long infection I have in my scalp, The doctor said they will carry on a biopsy in a month and after will be discussed which medicines could be applied. Of course it is not urgent with so many things going on at the moment :).
Because I was already in the hospital we decided to go few floors up, to the 9West B, to the liver surgery department. I wanted to show the wound and else, the nurse said that everything looks fine, the tummy are bloated but is normal, it is normal that can be inflamed, but is nothing serious.

After we took the train back to home, the journey is very short, only 20 minutes from door to door. Back home I was off the rest of the day, sleeping and in bed reading some notes that I did in hospital.

Another good thing is Adriano, the cuisine of Justyna has tomorrow the first interview for a job, he is very exited and also we are all very happy, I hope tomorrow all will be OK for him.

It was a good day

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Still some blur


Today I had courage and I set myself for a long journey, the aim was to see my GP, speak about what been happen and to put forward the problem of my tummy still so swollen. I felt great to do around 40minutes walk within not run out of energies.

Regarding to the answer he only recognised that everything looks normal, even over the best expectations for this singular case. He mentioned that fortunately is not often to see cases like mine, but I am going very well.
The afternoon I occupied myself with a brilliant thriller, Child 44, it is so good that makes me forget any pain, the story encompasses the period in Soviet Union before and after Stalin, it has been great to know bite more about what the people from East Europe had suffered, something that I will make sure that Olivia would be aware off, as in the end of the day she is also a East European women :)
In the evening we had a special meal with the company of our friends Shubhi, Tom and Taz, Great to repeat some good moments again in a large family.

Monday, April 27, 2009

London Marathon

Almost time to end another day, and start another night, The day brought more light, I am moving much more, doing authentically marathons around my courtyard and in the common access areas. Always whenever a neighbour seem me he runs away scare of my Android and Frankensteinian movements. Those are so slow that even often Olivia beats my goals. But for now I am not complaining.

I still have a bag in my side that is collecting fluids from the operation, but slow is coming less liquid. The time I am passing literally emerged in the God hands of my princess, Olivia is always kissing me, Justa is always around and lifting me with always her best smile, and my mum with also her hands is doing miracles in the kitchen, The appetite come back already from holidays :)

I will leave some pictures from the Olivia's birthday. It was a small but very lovely party

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Sunday morning

Ola meus amigos,

Good to be back home, I still have a lot of pain but yesterday I went already for a short walk outside. Slowly, I promised I will come more regularly here.

Also my friends Sofia and Julian have been around this weekend, so the impossible happened, I had a laugh.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Back home


Venerable friends, Yesterday I backed home, The first moments are giving some good expectations that the recover can be slowly but efficient. Right now I am still with a lot of pain killers, good trips that I did not pay a ticket. A huge worked that my body his doing is to deal with the levels of sugars in the blood. This night was a big example of this challenge, crazy. I thought it would be the last one. The morning I was much better.

There is some doubts, but we are on track. In two weeks I will see the doctor to discuss the next steps.
I will see u

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Day 2

Helder is recovering fast and feels no pain at all. Justina spoke early this morning with the head surgeon and has been informed that, although very invasive, the surgery ran smoothly. According to him, the shadow in the pancreas, visible in the latest scanning, is nothing but fluid, thus we should not worry about it. A phisiotherapist visited Helder in the morning and prescribed him a few breathing exercises.
For those who plan to visit him, Helder left the intense treatment unit and is now at the general ward, in the 9th floor.

Friday, April 17, 2009

** breaking news 2 **

After more than 8 hours in the operations theatre, Helder is now resting at the intensive treatment unit. He looks great and actually feels great. In his own words: "I cannot describe the happyness and relief that Im feeling at this moment".
Maybe tomorrow or the day after he will be able to answer your phone calls. Meanwhile, he sends kisses and hugs to all of you.

**breaking news**

Hi everyone. Its Filipe, writing on behalf of Helder.
Just to update you with the latest info. Justina just met Dr.Fusai near the surgery hall and has been informed that Helder is doing fine. Its still one more hour of work to come but everything is running according to the expectations.
At 4pm he shall wake up and be transfered to the intensive treatment unit.


"in the butchery". Soon at your local cinema

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Positive expectations

Everything is serene, actually too much normal, Probably I am a bit naive but I am happy, what can I do. This is the destiny, my future need to cross again the long sharp naives of Dr Richard Gere, At least I will submit my body to a such handsome doctor. Brrrre :)
Here all family are reading and I am doing the list of things to take with me, for now I will take very few items, only few magazines for tonight and some pants and socks, apart of a shirt, tie and my oyster card to get out in the night when I will fell bored in the hospital.
I am now in holidays, nothing else I can do, it will be few days in a resting couch, with few drinks and not much solids.
Lastly, just to let you know, in case of interest, that you can set your order to buy a spare Iscas the Figado, But you must be quick.
So, big kiss and bye

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Friends Forever

Yeah, I am still at home, only tomorrow I will sleep in the Hospital, I will see firstly the surgeon at 5.00 pm and after I will go to my new home, Ward 9 West of Royal Free Hospital. The operation should be very early morning at Friday. Today I could enjoy the last laugh with my Olivia and Justyna and also Filipe that came at lunch time. Afternoon, I just toke it easy, read few more pages of The unbearable lightness of being in bed. Good sensation with a light music in background. The ending of the day it was not correct taking the words of the factionalist Filipe, Unluckily for him Porto lost again against an English team.

Now I had the best possible good night, Olivia gave a sunny kiss. I was thinking for me, My love for you I would do whatever will be necessary to be with you as long as you want. Nobody got the right to take me this.

Love for all, and soon I will be back. I will never forget all your support and friendship. And do not forget do keep your attention in what is valid.

I am trying to convince Justyna or Filipe to update the blog now on, My love Justa gave me a explanation for not doing which, I understand.

my email is

phone is 00447743368218

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Rendezvous for Friday

Ola meus amores,

Today I have been relaxed, even if also today I had the confirmation that the operation it will happen only Friday and not Thursday. In that way I only will be admitted in the Royal Free Hospital Thursday, So I will still have tomorrow evening to enjoy the company of my friend Filipe that will arrived in London, we can go to check if FC Porto will go through against man United.

I will tell you what I am feeling and I confessed already to Justina, I am ready to the surgery, I close my eyes and can see all the procedures, laying down in a couch having the first injection, after open the door for epidural and after the mask that will knock me down. But I cannot adjective my thoughts as whether are they positive, because they are not, but neither they are negative. I know that in the time of would go to the theatre I will blow a lot of oxygen in my lungs, clench my teeth and will be ready for this, like if I would be involved by a spirit of mission.

After what I past already in the past I just want to go through this tunnel and wake up in the other side, and after enjoy some peace of mind, I like the idea of be the passive part now, the responsibility Friday is in the doctors side.

Today we had the lovely visit of our friend Veena, it was brilliant the samosas she brought, the afternoon went very quick with our chatting, Congratulations to see what your team are doing in Haringay with the children and now been recognised by a half page in the newspaper The Guardian.

The postponed of my surgery date discarded the big coincidence of been coincident with the day of the birth of Maria. I am sure that everything will gonna be all right and I can see already the parents Patricia and Miguel very happy. You deserved.

Kisses and I hope I still can came here tomorrow.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Hitchcock drama

Long day behind, We went to the town to escape to the routine, the weather was well enough to play the tourist role among them and enjoy a day outdoors. It was funny to mixed with the normal crowd, like if we were without any other problems and could be possible to fit any thoughts about shopping in our minds. Anyway, it was positive to walk around Trafalgar until south bank and stretch legs. I am sure they will be missing this walks.

Afterwards we travel to Shubhi's house, to have a last meal, for now, with our family, It could not be better, I could eat and drink energies and good thoughts from the Ocean of positiveness that represents that house and Shubhi's family. We toasted, we prayed, We all come home more calm.
Now I was thinking that the surgeon doctor Fusai, told me that he wanted to do the operation personally, and that is why I waited for this week as he has been in Holidays, I hope that he had a brilliant holidays, very relaxed, without any confusion, any arguments with his wife, if married. The worst scenery would be if he decided to go in Holidays to Portugal, and had a terrible experience with the Portuguese people, in that case I should fear for my life in the operations bed, I could pay for the Portuguese sins. Hopefully he went to different ports, there is other cheaper destinations.

The penultimate night, I am writing this lines at the same time Justyna does not want to abandon me and is reading a book in front of me and my mum is praying on the side, It is countless the times mum went around her rosary, and is infinite the times I listened she whispering the act of contrition or praying the Our father. I am sure either Our father and hail Mary will be with us in the next days, making this tortuous Hitchcock thriller with a good end.

My mum finished pray and kissed the rosary, we all are with good thoughts and calm, its is good time for a massage from Justa and bed.


Sunday, April 12, 2009

Easter greatings

Ola again,

After a trouble in our connection yesterday that left us without Internet and then missed the opportunity to update the blog, the problem apparently it was somebody that unplugged the connection outside doors, it will requires a detailed investigation from me after the operation :) Now the priority is to relax and try to enjoy the last days as much as I can, something that starts to be difficult. To keep the good thoughts and hope in the top of my mind is not an easy task. The discomfort around the last operation comeback again and straight my energies and mood reflects negatively. But I still have 3 days to built up the perfect man to go for this, this man cannot feel weak for the misfortune, acknowledge that are always more dramatic situations. Tears is something that today I was close but must be vanished from the horizon until Thursday. This last days I am having a great time with my mum, chanting until there is no more conversation and also just stay together is great for the soul. I presume that is good for both, I feel that she is in a very tension, the nervous are present.

This year we had a proper Polish Easter, yesterday we took a basket with food to the Church to be blessed. And today in the breakfast we ate the holly food, In the basket there were sausages, soft eggs, Polish salads, bigos and additional Portuguese food and of course the folar from the Algarve. Afterwards we went to the mass in the Polish church to witnessed the Eucharist.

The lunch was with our friends Kaska and Rafi, they are always around when we need, this made the friends.

The afternoon it was not great, The day of operation until now has been existing in my mind as something very faraway, but now is there I can see and is impossible to run away. I do not see the time I can seat as now and do not have the disease always in my plans, the problem is I do not believe already in that time.

Big big huge,

We all were painting eggs to be blessed according to the Polish tradition

Eucharist, there was no space for all Poles Time for the holly breakfast
Now our lunch

Friday, April 10, 2009

Full house


Happy days around, Mummy back to town and the family is almost complete, now is only missing my friend Filipe that is coming Tuesday. It is a nice atmosphere to have the house full. Easter is promising, with the food that my mum brought it from the Algarve, home made bread, Fular typical from this weekend in the Algarve.

It was magic, since I met her in the airport I felt she transported the last piece of strengths that I needed for the operation next Thursday. Mike help us again to go to the airport to pick up mum, facilitating the logistic. Meanwhile, I am getting prepare for the Reivellon, Adriano who is a professional hairdresser cut my hair. It was a touch of Midas. Also I shaved the hair in the body, as they would disturb and would bring needless pain whenever will be necessary to remove plaster, bandages and pipes. I have the experience from the last surgery.

Olivia got already a present from her aunt, a mega ball to relax. So happy we all are.

Thank you

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Silly season

The story from yesterday please take it as only a divagation, because here in the blog I want to write only stories of love, nothing and nobody should be treated less than I want to myself, So without any limits I always desire the best to all the friends, The friends are all the brothers and sisters that are moving in the same way as me :)
Today the works and painting has finished, The house lost its smallest tenant, the mould, but also was not paying, therefore is out, Now the house gain other freshness, the walls of the house are combined with the colours of Magnolia and the white. Now everything is ready to welcome the Easter and of course my mum. She arrives tomorrow to be present through the operation, next week. Important that she brings the luggage full of love and hope to open it after the operation.

To my side I tried to relax with another chapter of acupuncture this afternoon, the last before operation.

Good night

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Walking carefully


Today I was in a more reflexive day, looking more inside, tried to find a fine refuge in my thoughts. All that mood it was not enough to get in a meditation, I started to meditate but I think a slightly anxiety did not allow me to find in the meditation such a peaceful exercise that should be, then for several times I gave up. During the day I contacted with the nurse responsible for diabetes in the Royal Free Hospital, to let her know about the day of the operation, as she asked me before. She promised that will give me all the attention and will be close to me in the day of operation, next Thursday and in the days after. She reminded me again to be calm but also be aware about the huge task after the surgery, All abdomen must the open, one cut will be from the diaphragm until the navel and another one will open from the Liver until the Pancreas again.

It is very important in the days after to keep controlled the sugar levels as it will determine the good healing of the wounds and also for me more important will help me to keep my psychological condition in terms to command the recovering. I remember last time when the first operation because of the sugars been out of control I had some desperate moments. So I hope this time the things will go better through that side.

After lunch I was feeling that I needed a fresh air to reinvigorate the confidence, so I went alone for a short walk looking for something that I did not know, adrift without any route and destiny. So if I had not plans it most been the wind in my back that took me to the area where I lived until one year ago - Willesden Green. It was the first time since then I come to recognise the territory that once was mine. The area is not brilliant, I do not missed anything from there, so the question is why did I come here? Already there I took even one step further and I allowed a gusts of wind to pull me to the street where I had my former address, now I realise it was to late and I decided to face whatever it overcomes from Balmoral road. I would find out if the territory that once I had my quarter now would be a enemy area, and I was unarmed. In the base of my reckless decision was the theory of probabilities, I reckoned by my calculations that it would be very unlikely to be acknowledge by any living soul during my journey through the suspicious road, and even more crossing with my former flatmate. I have had a very good memories at the time I lived there with Justyna and the embryonic Olivia apart of the style of life that my flatmate carried on that sometimes was conflicting with ours. Therefore, my predictions to cross the road and ended up safely were a pure mistake as it was almost defeated when already close to the house and unexpectedly I saw coming out of the flat the Mr former flatmate, I confess I was a bit nervous, feeling a small shiver in the spine, but firmly I kept the attitude and looked to the friend challenging him to a conversation if necessary in the best scenery. Nevertheless, the impossible happen, without anybody in the next mile around, the man did not recognize me, passing by in the other side of the road with his typical mannerism and walk aiming probably a pack of cigarettes in a shop over the adjacent road. Now, I was not happy, been exposing myself, just for a stupid self confidence to a such dangerous confrontation. When I though, so now I can go to see the area near the flat satiating my curiosity and go home, on the way back I saw again the mate, now in the same road and in a collision course with me, there was nothing I could do, it is now, I was sure, but again he looked with one eye on me and diverted his path, passing 30 centimetres from me and there he goes to his house confused in his own thoughts. Flagrantly our destiny does not look to intersect again. In a future adventure I must wear a disguise, either an artificial moustache or an extra leg. It is important to have in mind what happen to Tertuliano and with his double man (Homen Duplicado, Jose Saramago), A man should never walked unprepared, affronting the coincidences. It is always a lapse that dictates the unhappy ending stories.

With such an adventure in the pocket I come to my present home, I was definitely needing some rest. Only in the afternoon I had John piked up all the family to go for a tea in Maria's house. The evening could not go better, The table of food turned out a ping pong table of jokes and good will.


John is picking us up

In the trampolines of Maria's house

I had a go, I did not go to high

Now is time to relax and a drink

I swear, the beer is not mine

Olivia choosing her first sound in the jukebox John, as usual, a story tellerMaria, the only one who worked today, good citizen

Olivia has not decide what to do next
She is the boss