Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Last time in this page

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Monday, May 21, 2012

Patience of Chinese

I was in quite a good shape this morning, I helped in the Noah's Ark shop, I steamed and steamed, I already told and confessed my fascination for the repetitive jobs. Only in the afternoon the energies vanished, nothing that could not be sort out with an hour nap, It was great to feel the subconscious taking over of the conscious and the legs slowly release from the body. Today we did not have any going out, rarely we stay at home all day as today, I found the going out very helpful and therapeutic, or at least it makes me divert from some of the thoughts. Probably it also means that I still need to find my peace in between the walls of my house and do not constantly run away from it. It is the patience of Chinese that we all need to have and practise. But before practise the patience from China we practise the eating, In the dinner we all picked up the chopsticks. Olivia loved the new fashion.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

In the Globe

We had some good expectations for today, nevertheless the word expectations has less and less meaning for me, I prefer to not expect anything to not as usual be confronted with the unexpected. In our calendar was marked for a long time the event of Romeo and Julieta in Portuguese, this in the Shakespeare Globe. It was two hours of standing up and with cramps everywhere, but it was worth it, we had a lot of good laugh and cry of course from it. I was also surprised that I was not the only one complaining about the long standing, as Vasco and Pajo also complained from their legs and back. Justyna loved it, as she is a big fan and passionate about all the Shakespeare's works. The end was dramatic and sad but made me think, Romeo and Julieta's death even though tragic but was definitely worth as they brought peace to the ones left. I guess nothing is in vain, in the end everything has a meaning and reason.

Olivia could not come with us, but she did not mind, she spent all afternoon with Veena. Shame also that because of the long afternoon out we did not manage to spent more time with Gosia, as she came to London for only a day.
By the way, because we are already in Veena's house to pick up Olivia, we also will have the taste of her great food.

Frozen water

Today I had a bit more of energy and Olivia felt this and she could not drop the opportunity, she wanted to go back to the swimming pool. It was good, I just felt so cold there, mainly in the water, through all the visit I could not wet my head. I think Olivia was influenced by me, as she also was not too keen to go and swim. Then we were the only big and small people that past more time outside around the sandwiches and muffins than inside the water, But we both had a good time together, this is the only thing important.
But for the afternoon was reserved a big event, our friend and angel Shubhi had her birthday party, we were lucky to enjoy this special moments with her and family. But it was Ryan who had the biggest present as his Chelsea won the Cup.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Kitchen duties

It looks that I am made for mornings and Justyna for afternoons. We both alternate the humour, rarely we are both in the high. There is always somebody keeping the flag of the sadness, I do not know until when. It is also curios how quick my hormones changed, I can switch without explanation from being very sad to less sad. In the afternoon Justyna called me to the kitchen to help her with the cooking duties, it was a strategy to see if I would jump from the bed and to be more proactive.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Art club

I think today I overrun my limits, it was a long and very busy day, Probably because of that I am very tired but also happy, or at least happier than usual. This feeling of happiness is difficult to describe, it is for sure something very deep, a feeling of peace, almost if nothing else needed to be done or expected from me, almost as if I would have everything in my arms. I know how much more I would like to have but today what I do not have is not hurting. I know how difficult it is for people to chose the right words to be told to me, I am not picky with that, but today my Art teacher had wonderful words for me, which I appreciated very much. I will spread my smile until I can, and if this makes others happy, even better.

Today we all were in the Art mood, in the morning all the family and a neighbour Violina went to see an Art exhibition in Finchley, Nowadays having a little bit more knowledge about painting makes me look to the works with different eyes than before, probably more critic, but also this visits are always a fantastic lessons.

The Art carried on in the afternoon. Today it was a big day for Olivia, she had accomplished her dream, since long time she has been asking me if she could come to visit me in the class. For a day Olivia was the youngest art student in the World.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

More of the Friends

Today we all went for a special healing mass. Not only in the church but I am now open to all different approaches to improve my health condition, as it looks the conventional medicine has less and less to offer me. I have been feeling tired, probably also influenced by my down mood, this afternoon I had a lovely nap and I am already looking forward for the night and to reach my bed. In the night the brain switches off and I have few hours where the ghosts give me a break.

I have the feeling that this my state of lethargy, tiredness and disbelief is keeping Olivia further away from me, Probably she is not coming so much to me because she understands that I am physically and even more mentally not willing for jokes.

Before bed only a couple of episodes of Friends in the company of my team mate, just to exercise the lungs, they need some laugh.