Thursday, September 30, 2010

Touching the void

This day re-started the emotional marathon that will finish in the next week. This because today I went to the Hospital to have a CT scan that will tell us about the future. Keeps fingers crossed. The morning was all inside the Hospital, luckily the Art class was postponed, in that way I did not missed it.

Yesterday, in the evening I watched the film Touching the void what gave some inspiration for this long fight, also shows us that there is always something else to do to not be in the end.

Finally, just to send a big hug and kiss for my friend Carla Almeida for her birthday, I am sure will have a lot of presents and kisses for her big family.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010


While Justyna was away studying in the library I thought I was alone at home with Olivia, but no, when I went to the garden I faced other creature, a beautiful fox, He or she was surprised as me. Was fixed looking for me for a while and only after went back. I tried to go inside to pick up a camera to record the moment but meanwhile he vanished, I hope I will see him again. I can see in him what is missing in me sometimes, the wisdom.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Autumn everywhere

The Autumn arrived silently, Outside it is visible the new brownish drapery in the trees, The birds are also flying in a frenzy and saying goodbye until the Spring, The only animals that are more visible as ever are the spiders, they appear in front of our eyes from everywhere. In fields the landscape is also marked from the mixed green and red tones from the berries. Olivia is enchanted as we have a lot of berries near our home. We will have free fresh fruit during this Autumn.

Coincidentally or not, the Autumn is arriving not only in the fields as it is not only the nature which is changing, but also me is changing, I already knew that the Sunitinib would turn the skin colour pale and yellow but now I am also finding out that all my hair, from legs to the top hair are whitening. It is slightly sad to see the ageing at this path, but it is just a matter of get use.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Mrs. MacGyver

Justyna is carry on with her studies, This, after the house make us feel already as our home, It is good sign as I already forgot our former house. The layout of the new Villa is very similar to the last one, probably few inches smaller but in compensation the garden is much more bigger. Our personal things are already in the wall making the atmosphere warm. But the big advantage that we have is the fact that inside home lives the lady Mrs. MacGiver. Justyna always finds practical solutions for all the problems, if the curtains does not fit the window, she will think and will come up with an extraordinary and cheap solution, If some space is too tight she will discover a new way to open the hall, This is a brilliant woman that does miraculous with her small pocket tools.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Portobello Market

Yesterday, I went back with Filipe to the streets of London, to Portobello Market, It was wonderful to smell the roads of the market, its products and the people, the Arabic stalls and to have a nice Portuguese sandwich in the Oporto cafe. It was a busy afternoon what, made me with a lot of energy. Nevertheless, slowly I am starting to feel the small nervous inside me related with the scans and the visit to the doctors that will happen soon. Today, Filipe is already going to Portugal.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Days to do not forget

This time not only me, Justyna and Olivia went to the Royal Free Hospital, but also my friend Filipe came with us. I was not too nervous but very tired, as I could not sleep through the night. It is something that happens often, one night with a good sleep sometimes more awake. The doctor saw the feet are better and it was decided that only in the next appointment after the scan they will see if I should carry on with the same dose or increase again the dose of Sunitinib.

After Hospital we had a lunch together in a Kurdish restaurant. But in the evening we had a great snack but also a great company of our friends Veena and Shubhi. It was a great time speaking and enjoying the company of each other. It is funny but we feel so close to our friends that looks that we know each other since ever.

Just to let you know that the Winter is opening the door around here. and we just now found that we the heater is not working or we still do not know how to manage the machine.

Thursday, September 23, 2010


Another lesson of drawing that made me happy, each minute in the class it is such a joy and pleasure to trace some lines as I want. Before I was a bit ditress, I went with Olivia to a playgroup and for few times she tried to bite another kids, and for once she did it. I need to keep always one eye one her. But after the lesson the serenity comeback again. Plus, today and until the weekend we will have here the visit of my great friend Filipe. For now I just want to relax and chatting about everything. Tomorrow, we all will go to the Hospital, I need to go to the oncologist essentially to collect more Sunitinib, The harder appoitments will come in two weeks after the scan next week.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Last spells of Sun

Suddenly the Summer hit us again, It still did not full charge my energies, but it will get there. Olivia keeps busy with her works outside and Justyna with her studies and bureaucracy. I should take advantage as tomorrow will arrives the rain. I will go now for a walk with Oli.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

So tired today

Justyna already started to study for her last examination, at 20th of October, for coincidence also her birthday. Bur now it is time for me also to distract Olivia, This morning we went to the library, park, pharmacy, to the bank, look for new GP, and even to the charity shop Cancer Research to ask about my application. This afternoon I am feeling very exhaust, I think I will go to rest.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Outside of the global village

At the moment in my new house I am without Internet network, plus the mobile phone network sign is also very dim in my area. As you know we also chose to not have television since long time. Given this, believe in me, instead of what you would think, I am a much more happy person today. Less worries, only focus in my tiny village indoors. The day looks longer, There is time to speak in family, to watch movies, to read books, even to come outside to take fresh air. The news from the World are brought by our friends, today was Krishna who brought good news. Regarding to the pain in the feet it has decreased since I lowered the dose of the pills, only the back pain still very much present. So much present that I already do not notice it.

Sunday, September 19, 2010


This is the way I perceive the religion, there is not one right religion or even all are wrong. Thus, morning I went to watch the Pope mass screened in the church and in the evening to the Buddhist temple.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Justyna in the school

Justa had her day out for her tutorial related with the last exams. myself and olivia had the day for ourselves, shopping, park, library, cleaning her house. now just a quite evening with Sergio that come around. today this was very difficult to write from a iPhone

Friday, September 17, 2010

Getting out, again

Home almost on shape the live is getting to the normality, Olivia went back to her jumping jacks and to her park to review friends. She is now obsessed with stickers, books with stickers, all the time she is doing that. Today we had the first visitors to our new villa, It came Vasco, after long time without seeing him, and also Shubhy.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Again, a good day

I was having my routine day in the library, in a reading session for Olivia, when I received a call, then I needed to leave everything and go straight away. Happily, was offered me a place in the Barnet college in Drawing and Painting. The course would have started 15 minutes after the telephone call, so there was not time for nothing but just run for the classes. I was so happy. The teacher looked for me great and very good in interpersonal level, trying to motivate the pupils all the time. The course will go through all the year, I cannot wait. Today the first lesson was fantastic. After few weeks with ll the distress from the moving all are getting place, again.

I was looking in the website from my teacher I was very pleased, probably you also would like to have a look.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Olá Puller Road

There we are already focus in doing our new home our nest, our place to Live. For now I am doing holes in the wall amd Olivia gardening. Olivia is very happy with her long garden and has already her house assembled and kitchens.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Bye chipping close

Today, Justyna was a little sad before handed over the keys from our house in chipping close, but, myself was much more release than sad, as I had a lot of reserves regarding to the way we been treated by the landlady. Now out, I am feeling much happier, and ready to live and enjoy in my new place. The new neighbourhood looks nicer, everybody speaks to us, at least for now I am always telling good morning and everybody replies.

In the new House I am still without Internet, so now I will be out of the connection for a few weeks, I will try to come to the library always as possible.

Monday, September 13, 2010


First days in the new villa and I am feeling as a king, waking up with the sunshine in my eyes.. Such a sensation having two princesses sleeping beside me while I am reading forbidden 'Lolita'.
One more day and we will handle over the keys from our last home.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Friends help, always

Today some other friends made our dream and move took place, During all day Mike and Tom been all day in a shuttle up and down with cars moving all the rest of the stuff to the new house. Now the efforts will be focus in the new house, to make it habitable. In between Olivia was almost lost inside a luggage.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Our shelter

If our live in the new villa will be as it was the first day it will be a paradise. Olivia enjoyed all the moments of moving and organizing, and felling asleep straight after dinner. Although Justyna very tired and myself with back pain of doing nothing there was a atmosphere of happiness above the new shelter. Today, the move carry on with the help of our friends Veena, Shuby, Tom and Neil. We are three people but we have stuff as if we were a large family.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Villa Assuncao

Again, we are already in a new house, Until next Tuesday in fact we will have two houses, the one where we have been living and the new one, in that way we can do the moving smoothly. Today we moved already few things that allows us to sleep and live with a minimum of comfort there and in the weekend we will move most of the stuff with the help of a task force of friends. The first official event in the new villa was a breakfast in the morning.

Olivia was surprisingly so happy with her new bedroom and her long garden. She run through the garden trying to hide and in her bedroom she tried to make the law, Only she, would organize her clothes.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Indian house

Tonight should be our last night in this house, as tomorrow we will have already the keys from the new address, Definitely the memories in the house will stay and will come with us forever. It was such a lovely and friendly house, It will be difficult to say good bye. Despite some bad days the house always gave us the strength to arise from the ground.

Today the House looked with an Indian spirit as I visualize the houses in India, With the Indian Summer sun shining outside we set the chair in front of the house and we been talking with our guests, In the morning we had John Gandy and Maria. In the afternoon we had the company of Krishna, Olivia was in the clouds with Krishna, they went alone all afternoon to somewhere, I do not know where. In the evening our friend Shubhy come also to help Justyna in the proof reading in her last TMA. Finally, Justyna has finished. I am sure she is already looking for another challenge.

Tomorrow, it will be a hard day, packing, moving, cancelling bills, the usually, Nothing new for us after this 5th time we are moving, but always difficult.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

I still can dream

Mummy out just for a day, and Olivia did straight a big friend, I am bit more liberal but nevertheless I was surprise when I saw Andrei telling to Olivia that she has a beautiful hair, Plus with all his macho performance in the equipments, Olivia was delighted and impress. Justyna has almost finished her last Essay, Yupy.
Myself, I am trying to understand and not be too confuse with what will come, I really do not know what I want and is better. I just promised to my friend Ana Rita that I will try to dream again and do not bury that faculty as once I said.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Dreaming in silence

This days only helps me to confirmed what a Cancer can do, It is able to fill up all our day, our thoughts, our movements, I can say that sometimes the Day is not split in day and night, but instead in Cancer and in cancer.

Today was one of those, that my routine was broken by an appointment in the Hospital, Before I loved to go to the hospital, wanted to know news but nowadays I prefer the calm and tranquility of home and a routine than the distress, nervous, smell and anxiety that are around in the corridors of the Hospital. I went to see the surgeon again after half a year. Surprisingly, for me his speech has changed slightly today from the others before. He said that he needs more information to take a decision. But I did not know what he was talking about, But he explained that he wants to see me gain in a month after my next CT scan in the end of September, Then he will talk with the oncologist and see the evolution of the tumour and study any chance to operate. Of course all this is new and good, but I need to keep calm and just do my bit. The things will not be easy because the doctor also mentioned that in my case if I would ask to 10 doctors, 9 will tell me that will not be any operation, Also does not help the fact of I have been already 2 times in his scissors hands and this is not a piece of cake according to him. I have three nodules, two in the Liver and another one in the abdomen, and it is the last one which is around the blood vessels which makes according to the doctor more difficult to get there.

But let us dream in silence, without too much noise.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Academic season

Olivia went with me to enroll in a nursery, but only to start in the next year, She was sad as she wanted to start straight way and join the kids in the playground in the same moment, My only alternative to calm her was to divert the way to the library, where she would found a story about herself.

It was a nightmare for me to walk around given the big pain that I have been feeling in my feet again. Thus, today I was defected by the side effects, then finally I did decreased the dose to see if the side effects stops a bit to see if I could have some quality of life back.

Tomorrow I will see again the surgeon after almost half year, should be a regular appointment, just to check if I am still alive :)

Sunday, September 5, 2010


Sometimes it is good days like that, Dark outside so plenty of excuses to do not leave our nest. But, after a while the space looked even more small, as Justyna is trying to get out from us, closed in her studies room. She is only focus on her studies and only seeing the computer.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Master in the piano

The afternoon we escaped to Shubhy's house, also to give some free time to Justyna carry on with her TMA. It was a very nice time, we were really missing the noons/evenings with all the family, Shubhy, Tom, Ryan and Tazz. It was good to see Ryan more relaxed, passed his time of examinations, He now can focus more in his true love, the music. His compositions showed a very mature and promising musician.

Friday, September 3, 2010


Justyna's TMA is progressing, while Olivia and myself are going around London, Today in the morning we went to see the doctor because of a small pain that Olivia has when she piss and myself to collect some medicines, Back home we needed to go to the church to speak with the priest, Luckily he was there, busy with the preparations for the visit of Pope Benedict XVI to UK. He was very nice, interrupted his work to help me, I needed his signature in the application for a nursery for Olivia, It was necessary because this is a Cristian school. Before shopping we still past few good moments in the park with other kids. I am full of tiredness but also of joy.

Today I had a great tip from my cousin Carla, regarding how to suppositoring, I did not know but it looks that the part of the suppositories that should go first is the square one and not the beaked one, as I told, this is essentially because of laws of physics, the way how the intestines works. This is trivial for some of you but can help some others in the future.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Good neighbourhood

First thing to do before any moving is to recognised the area and to get in contact with the neighbours, For now, we have already two good neighbours that we offered some carrots. Next time will come the tea. They were quite smelling and sometimes bit impulsive, it is true, but they open the house and were very friendly. At the moment it is me and Olivia who is doing this business, Mother is reading and also already organizing and packing. In the garden she is taking with us what can flourish in our new garden.

The feet is stable but it is always soaked in a cream to not let it dry, and down, in the end of the course of the food, the bleeding is less often, for that it has been important the dose of suppositories that I am having every day before going to toilet. The act of introducing the medicine it is painful, I think, but somebody was telling to me that sometimes the changing of the sexual orientation could start from less than that.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Fruit on the table

The park was today overcrowded park, so many kids as I never seen, for that was not indifferent the fact of the lovely sunny day and the last days of holidays for kids. By the way today I went for the first time to pick up a application to enroll Olivia in the Nursery, This to start in the next year.

Here we are trying to have the most healthy diet as possible, with a lot of fruit and with less meat as possible. Although this is a arguable point, because I always eaten so much fruit through my life and I am nowadays not the finest example of the health.

Today I also would like to wish the best luck and surgery for my friend Henrique from the Georgio who will have tomorrow another stabbing, he is my college in this paths of the Liver. I am sure all will be alright.