Saturday, February 28, 2009

Home sweet home

Just now we arrived at home, my friend Shubi took us to our home from the airport, with a stop in her home to have a lovely meal cooked by Tom. we are very tired today, the girls are already sleeping and I will do the same now. I hope the night will take away a pain in my back that I am feeling now, I suppose it was some luggage that betrayed me.

Since I come I have the impression that there is Spring in London, The weather has changed since we left. Probably also this is helped by the cold weather in Poland.


Friday, February 27, 2009

Olivia also Polish citzen

And the holidays quickly are approaching the end, We were always busy, all the time visiting or receiving family at home, there was not too much time for a desired walk in the forest. Today we dived in the papers affairs, It was necessary a huge effort to surpass the highest values of the bureaucracy. To register our wedding and the birth of Olivia it was almost about to do not happen because of a distance of two signs in the Portuguese Alphabet, that the Polish do not recognise, the Assuncao. Thus we needed to fake a document with the consent of the register to sort out the problem, We all were criminal today, please kept this between us.

This holidays were my second time that I came to Poland, it was fruitful to come in order to know better the family and understand all the environment where Justyna grown up. Few important things now I better understand. Like inside all houses also here the problems could find their space.

But what I will take with me is a special moments when I saw the must beautiful character that we can find in the people, And I will be the most happy father knowing that my baby could inherit such a values.

Bye Poland

Tuesday, February 24, 2009



Sorry for the silence, but the trip to Krakow took me all my time and the socializing skills were also focus in the new environment, even if most of time I was lost by the language, Then I decided to do not do too much effort to find any computer or Internet, Only staying with friends as much time as possible. All started at Saturday in the early morning, Justa's mum took us to Slupca to catch the first train, destiny was Krakow with a stop to change in Warszawa, the capital of the Great Poland. To remember, is this Country it was always fighting for their own independence. only find the last geography map after the First world war. The country was ruled by Autrian, German, Russian.

The first step took us around 3 hours, the landscape was superior, equal to the descriptions of the Russian steppe by Dostojewski. The fields are huge, and in the winter it become a infinite white spots, like if the clouds come down to the Earth. The snow covers everything leaving only space to the imagination to play and think what it is there covered, a route, house or a car. Normally the best way to find out a house is when the smoke comes out, in this case we are facing a chimney or any heater that is constantly pumping hot air inside the house. This endless extensions of flat fields are only paused by the forests. Normally the forest are composed by blitcher or white trees and pine trees. The pine trees is the only thing common to the Mediterranean landscape. I tried to move along this Transiberian style train with Oliwka, She was enjoying as much as me when I stop in front of the glasses and looked outside, I could stay there for hours. Few times I could not believed, the picture became enriched by a family of deers or other animals, For some divine reason they were standing in front of ours eyes looking for food or in their own hunting. Afterwards, been told me this animals now are travelling in groups as this is their season for pro creation, The same happen with the hares. I need to apologise because few days after I betrayed myself and in Justynas house I ate some meat of deer.

Back to the trip, the Sun was shinning all the way, me also could freeze and live forever in that moment, forgetting about tomorrows. The only important thing was that moment and inside that wagon. Nevertheless, what counted was the Train path and rhythm, and against that I could not do nothing. Warszawa was waiting for us with a very cold temperature, around -10 degrees. The night before reach -16. Luckily the only two hours we had was used to visit the most important areas, because Eva a friend of Justa was waiting for us in the rail station and showed us the best of the city. The city was a good surprise for me, my idea was a city with a monumental buildings in a Communistic style, with grey infrastructures, but what I saw, at least in the centre, around the main square was a very colourful town. All this area was rebuilt after the great war following the picture and documentation available, like from the novelist and local hero, Prus, descriptions in his books. The main square is still beautiful, and made me think how it would be before was bombed. We did not have too much time to spend going around and also the weather was not inviting us to stay longer outside, thus after a hour we marched back to the rail station to take the train to Krakow, more 4 hours and the capital of Galizia was a reality. This part of Poland in the South is more rich and westernised, It is more easy to find a cafeteria or other places to satisfy the normal addictions. Actually it has has everything. Generally the people has more money to spend in the not essential goods. Even, I found a new shopping centre in the best Portuguese style, like Forum Almada. I am sure this shopping was a Portuguese exportation as we did before to all World. What I found from the sample of my observation is this people have got a high standards of culture, is normal to see them having conversations related with paintings or musicians.

After a long journey we arrived in the city, it was a chilly afternoon as usual, and a lot of friends were waiting for us, all wishing to give a kiss to Justyna and see Olivia. Firstly we passed in Michael and Monica's house and after we went to Majka and Aga's house, where we met the rest of the friends that came over along the night. After midnight Me and baby went to sleep leaving Justyna and friends sharing a lot of things that most of them I could not understand. It is good for me to see how much Justyna is respected and loved by her friends. She has something that put all friends together. All are friends from the studies, they use to be together, but now they have busier lives, and some of them only meet whenever Justyna come to the city.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Polsky - Easy language

The days are going quick, I presume that feeling is stressed because here the night arrived earlier. This morning I woke up and outside there was an amazing panorama, the snow covered everything, I could not know where could I step on. During the night, often I listened dogs barking in a strange dialogue, what nevertheless brings me good memories when I was passing my summer holidays in the Algarve with my grand mum. It is not only the dogs that monopolize the spectre, but also the rooster takes the audition space, in the morning when the dogs are tired.

The meals, essential the lunch, because the dinner here is just a small snack, this is not like in Portugal where we live around the table. But I was telling during the meals is where my life turns very difficult, as I cannot understand a word, normally you can find the Helder smiling or even laughing when people looks at me, this without understanding what is going on, This is me in my most ridiculous pure state.

In the houses we still feel the communistic spirit, at least what the Red Politburo taught the mass population, The supreme value of the functionality instead of the luxury. Also, even if the people do not have much they always offer what they have and what do not have, There I can understand more Justyna, why she is like she is. At any place I am always welcome with table full of biscuits, coffee, tea. Yesterday, it was here in Poland the Fat Thursday, the Donuts day, it is announcing the period of fasting until the Easter. It is like in Portugal the Carnival or in England the Shrove Tuesday or Pancake day. In the houses the people coke the Donuts, I can proof they are delicious, unfortunately I need to eat with moderation.

What also I learnt with the Polish fellows, is they are at the same time very proud of their country and very open and interested in what it comes from the exterior, Therefore, Portugal in my person is a big source of curiosity to satisfy.

But the weirdest thing of this community making them unique is their language, God when created the World and the languages did not tell the Polish that the vowels exists to be used, they persist only in using the consonants. Often you find words with 10 letters within only 9 consonants.

The example in the picture above brings to the light this strange language to a genius people

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Ola Polska


Early morning we started our journey to Poland, Shubi took us in the comfort of her car to Stansted airport saving us a lot of energies. All went very smooth and quick, as usual, even if we arrived early in the airport, but with so much relaxing in the lobby in the end we needed to run to the gates to do not lose the plane. But fortunately we managed and Poland would be our next step in firm ground.

Poznan was waiting for us with a beautiful weather, with a temperature of -6 degrees, not too bad, I have been told me :)

Again, Justynas brother picked up us and took us to home in Zagorov, The way is really mystical, It makes me remember so much the pictures of the country side in Communistic times, The people are lovely, but I have a sensation the people, principally the old ones looked tired, I am sure the life in this areas it has never been easy, Successive generations been passing through different bloody wars, After Germany again another strong neighbour has marked negatively this people, Russia. Russia before and now with the Russian Mafia also keeps influenced negatively the countryside.

Now I need to pass the computer to Justynas brother, Tomorrow I will try to explain bit more this thoughts :) and see if I can attach any picture.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Bye London

So, just a quick word to say goodbye and see you tomorrow already in the heart of Poland. Now there is only time to finish our packing and see if nothing is missing.
Now it past already some hours since the last paragraph and I am now in Shubi's house, and unfortunately I already realised that I forgot my driving license, Anyway we will survive.


Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Party time

Ola meus amigos,

We are almost away again, uipy :) Olivia will be the centre again, whole family and friends to discover. The grandparents and cuisines cannot waiting. We will be based in Justynas parents house in Wrabczyn close to Poznan, after we are planning to go for a weekend in Krakow to meet Justynas friends from her university, I hope it will not be so much cold, I still have in my mind what her grandfather once told me, some years ago the temperatures there drooped to -42 degrees, This I will not stand.

Now we are packing our luggage, as during the day we went to help Shubi to paint her room, actually it was Justyna who worked with Shubi and I was taking care of Olivia.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Clear sky


Just now we realise in the last 14th of February past six months of the surgery in the Pancreas, according to the surgeon at that time the 6 months would be the time when I should be totally recovered from that intervention, and I think he was right, as at the present time I do not have any special pain in the Pancreas, however it never become the same, like I still do not have any sensation around the surgery and I still fell that something has been cut internally, But I already learned by some others patients that this is expectable.

Keeping thinking about time, in other extreme, is also by now that my life should be at the end, The first doctors gave me 6 months of life expectation, This in July, Prematurely they said that around 6 months should be the time that the tumour in Pancreas should be already totally spread and my life unfortunately should be by the end. After, 6 months of that diagnose, fortunately I proof them that they were wrong.

All this time, I have been without working, for me is something unusual, If one day I will back to work as I hope I need to built up again my confidence. The good side of this is I gain time to Olivia, in that way I am in a exceptional maternity leave. Today I had some news that cleared the perspectives for our short future, because the council gave green light to start to help us paying the house rent. Thus, after almost three months since when we applied for housing benefit and sincerely I was not expecting any help anymore, it came the good news. Of course along time ago I put the healthy values above overall rather then the money, But money always help.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Campaign against the war

Suddenly the days started to look more bright and not so cold, I maybe later regret the words, but there is a smell of spring in the air, The day took us to our friends Veena's house, we worked together only for 3 months but enough to tied up us a strong strings of friendship. It was lovely to be altogether with Krishna, and Kasha and Rafi. Brilliant afternoon and evening. We had time to have a delicious meal and watch movies. One of the movies were very strong, Brothers by Susanne Bier, Letting us think about the necessity of having wars, which only brings pain and horror to everyone. I have been thinking but I do not have answer, if is it necessary wars? It come always to my mind our selfishness and the idea that we tend to think our opinion is the one is right, pushing sometimes to wars to defend our ideas.
Regarding to the afternoon among friends, Olivia could not hide how happy she was :) And also mummy and pappy could be release, and sharing the duties with friends.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Valentines day

I need to confess I am not a big fan of this special days, normally they are associated with more commercial purposes than with the pure spirit that is celebrating. Like Christmas the S. valentines day should be everyday or whenever you want.

We had the most beautiful day that we can expect, Me, Justyna and Oli together with our friends Shuby & Tom, Chrissie & Trevor, Gita and the lovely Antonan.

It was a great time together, The food is the habitue, Shuby & Tom always offer the best dishes that we can imagine, the conversation was also wonderful. The time just flown by.

Good day to remember when we get married, last year
Today with friends

Friday, February 13, 2009

#All we need is Love#

Again another week is over, they are passing so quick, Nowadays I need to check my calendar in the mobile phone to figure out which day it is. And apparently the day of the lovers is already in the corner :) I hope all of you will have a day full of love, this means all sorts of Love.
Today I past all afternoon at home with Olivia, because mum needed to go to the centre, She is amazing beautiful, probably this is the explanation for the time flying so quick. She starts to understand the fact that I cannot take her so often in my arms, but even though have fun with my silly things.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Keep online

If the expectations and hopes for the meeting today with the nurses from the diabetes team
were high the results did confirm those hopes. It was a very fruitful appointment, from the team was present the nurse Ruth (diabetes team) and nurse Denise (dietitian team), After a hour meeting we came out with much more light in what to do in all situations. They gave us a lot of ideas about real meals or snacks that I can have without be necessary complement it with a shoot of insulin, also they looked in my doses or injections registration book for each meal, for them overall we are dealing very well, but there are some corrections to avoid hypoglycemia's that we should implement. They explained me scientifically that I should take one units of insulin for each 10g of Carbohydrate, then, each piece of bread means two units, each table spoon of pasta or rice needs 1 unit of insulin, and others very useful tips for my diet in the future without compromise the level of sugars in the blood. Ultimately, they helped to kill some ghost about the disease, is like everything, sometimes the information or lack of that is the worst to spread the doubts and the panic.

In the evening we had the Pajo's leaving party, the event was celebrated in the Mike's house, also came Jane and before briefly came John and Maria. It was very pleasant to be close to all this friends again, even if for a reason of one of us is leaving, But, from Portugal are waving better conditions to Pajo, I really hope that you will get that job, Good luck and see you soon, probably to do some fishing in some beach close to you in Portugal.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

do widzenia

A week after our friends went back to Poland, it was good to have them here, Justyna could review her close friends, speak in Polish what is good for her soul. I was happy to listen them laughing even if could not understand most of the time, I hope I was not the subject to the fun.

The day became again grey and very wet, but did not stop me to go for a short walk with my small flower. Also a friend of mine, Pajo told me that he is planning to go back to Portugal very soon, what is a shame but I understand, the Economy and jobs here are not also in its best days.

Tomorrow I will go to the hospital to see the nurse Ruth to discuss about the evolution of my diabetes, I have a big hope in this appointment, to learn more.
As you see the life here is going smoothly what is good :)

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


Incredible day, for the first time this year the Sun showed itself without any complex, He invaded my bedroom putting me without any choice, The invitation it was irresistible and I went out with all speed to take all the light as possible from the major star. Only after Justyna, Oli and Aga joined me. In order to find a place to enjoy the opportunity to be alone face to face with the Sun I sat down in a small wall in front of the arising and beauty Sun, For coincidence also in front was a rail station, it can look sickness but the landscape was inspiring, I could understand how interesting could be to be a Trainspotting, something I never could understand, Somebody waiting and observing the flow of the trains. But, to see the people getting on and out of the trains like ants, plus the noise of the locomotives brings something special to this prosaic event :) Probably also reflects an urbanoid man that still inside me.
Evening, we went to do some shopping around home to our friends take to Poland, and finally at home I was in charge to cook a Thai dinner for us, There was not too many complains.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Princess bath


Even if Monday, I was off again :) I past almost all day at home, relaxing, only I went out for a short walk. The freezing and wet weather did not invite to stay longer outside, This while the girls went to town to do shopping.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Cafe Lisboa

Today I planned to take the Polish friends to the Portobello market, but I did a mistake, I forgot that the market is not open today, so when we arrived there nothing was there and my embarrassment and shame was unhidden. But I played well and I toke the family and friends to the Cafe Lisboa, nearby, to enjoy the Portuguese patisserie and coffee. Apparently they loved o galao, pastel de nata, pastel de feijao, etc :)

Afterwards I left them as they were planning to go to the centre and I was not feeling excited for that. Thus, I came home to rest a bit. In the evening I went for another Portuguese cafe, this one in Camden to watch the derby with Pajo and Mike. Of course as usual whenever I go to watch a match with Sporting this team must lose and today it was more the same.

Good week to all my friends

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Camden Town

Just now we backed home, it was another day in the centre, we did the south bank walk to use the Sun that was shining in London for the first time since few weeks, In the way we toke the new TATE museum to our pockets, the visit was short to let us to go to Camden Town. When we arrived in Camden Market it was already afternoon so we could not spent too much time in the market, at least as it deserved, in my opinion.
To concluded the day I suggested to go to Angel and have a nice Indian Vegan Buffet. It is a place that I go often and come always full and happy. All of us, from me, Olivia, Justyna, Agas until Jacek are exhausted and happy. I dream about bed :)

When I was in among the crowd in Camden I commented with Justyna that there was time, not too long ago I thought that I would never again would look a normal citizen among other normal citizens, This time I am almost taken as my second chance in my life.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Cultural day

According to my promise, today I woke with much better mood :) Before anything I decided today to go to the Centre with the friends, probably for my 100th time I went to the National Gallery and British Museum, It is always part of the touristic route, The day went very quick and very pleasant, Slowly we walked a considerable distance and I enjoyed again the busy life on the town. Sometimes I almost forget that the life can be very agitated. Also it was an opportunity to Olivia start her cultural life, been for the first time in this museums, Although she has already the experience of the TATE gallery.

The use of the new insulin looked promising, the sugars going down quicker now, nevertheless there is few things that I still need to understand like the relation between the carbohydrate in each peace of food and the units of insulin required to be injected. The good thing from this type of insulin is this flexibility, and I need to learn more about that to take advantage. Because of that I called to the nurse Ruth specialised in diabetes in the Royal Free Hospital, a person that I seen before, and she straight booked me for a meeting next Thursday to speak about my situation, She is lovely, since the beginning she gave me her private phone in the case if I need to ask for any help. Anyway thank you also Carla to be free to help me :)

Now is time to sleep , tomorrow there is more in the centre.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Girls friends

Ola meus caros amigos,

Today I had a beautiful surprise made by friends, It was lunch time and a courier brought to Olivia a high chair, something that she did not have it and really needed. Straight when she found herself on the top of the chair she was so happy, like if the princess have finally her seat on the top of the world. Already before, whenever we were eating out she always enjoyed the high chairs. The surprise came from somebody I cannot expected much more, because their presence and help it has been behind our imagination. Olivia will never forget your great help in this storming times, It is very invigorating to know that you are always close to us. You must know that you are also in our hearts. Thank you Ana Rita, Filipa, Patricia, Cristina, Daniela, Sofia and Carla. Also, the girls of my life :)
It was another day that pass by, The Polish friends, Agas which arrived yesterday and Jacek that arrived today went with Justyna and Olivia to the town, I wrongly decided to stay alone at home. It was one of those days that I should not be alone, as for no reason I decided to stay alone at home and left with my deep thoughts. it is cyclic, each week there is always one bad day, so tomorrow I will follow the rule and I will awake in better mood. Tomorrow I will try to go to the centre with them. Anyway in the afternoon I started to catch a very funny old English series in DVD, the Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy. Pure English humour for who likes :)

Big fish

In fact the sugars have been very high since the last chemo session, even if I was already prepared for that, but the discomfort is too much and also my eye sight became poorly, I started to have some pain in the eyes when I am focus in the computer or in a book. The sugars also influence the vision, probably you did not know as me before this experience. Because of that in the morning I decided to play a different card that I had kept in the fridge, a different kind of insulin that the doctor once told me to start given, but I postponed because I thought it would not be the best time now to bring some more new incognitas or unknown factors to my healthy equation. Nevertheless, Today I started to inject this new insulin, it is more flexible and quicker action. In fact now I will inject some that is slow release, means is going in the body all 24 hours and another one always before any meal, therefore very quick acting. And after this first day the sugars really came downer, and I been passing through a better day. To show that I did all the washing up and other house working :)
In the evening I went to Maria & John's house to watch the match Everton vs Liverpool, along time myself was not out in the evening, it was relaxing to stay with them and Mike, The end it was even better with Everton wining in the last effort. Back home Agas were already there, it was lovely to have a laugh to finish the day. Also I cannot wait to go to Poland to see family and have a lots of carp from the Mazuras lake:)
I hope this fish did not come so much clever that would be impossible to catch it in the lake.
It was also the day that regarding to the exams trial I did in UCL I had a phone call from the doctor who is running that trial, It was ambiguous but as far as I understand he only want to have my permission if in the case the surgery go ahead he could have a sample of my Liver tissue to proof or understand something. Apparently in the two exams I performed, one when I was injected with a substance the Liver showed only two metastases but in the other one when I was injected with a radiological substance the Liver showed something else, He said the conclusions were not good or bad for me, just very interesting. Let the scientists study.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

White paradise

Morning as usual is the best part of the day, until lunch time I still have some energies left. Today the family went to the GP to register in the nearest GP or family doctor. The walk through the white paradise was even more recharging.

There, all the staff looked very friendly, what is good, even more if we consider our bad experiences with formers GP's. Today I had an informal interview with the doctor and at least I had the doctor's word that he will be there to do his best to help me. He showed also solidarity with our fought, also very impressed with my roll of problems, in fact the list are endless even more for a young adult as me. But in the life fortunately there will be never way backs, otherwise the life will become more confuse and unmanageable, So let us take as it come without too many tears and sorrows.


Monday, February 2, 2009

Snow man

Today when I woke up around 3 am I was so surprise and very happy, I needed to wear my glass to understand what was going on, all the roofs and windows were white like in the crib or in the nativity scene. It was difficult to get back to sleep when outside was snowing without stopping.
But the morning arrived and then there was again some signs of improvement, I was not so tired, at least until I went for my trip around the house. As you see, also it happen some accidents, this because I am not use with such a quantity of snow and cold. I cannot kiss everything essential the cold surfaces.
Because of this conditions the Justyna's friends could not come today, as the airports were close here in London, it has been postponed to Wednesday.

Sunday, February 1, 2009


After few decades as much as my life been going, I surrounded for the first time I went to discover the IKEA. The trip was already planned sometime ago between Justyna and Shuby. In the morning I was not sure whether I wanted to go or not, whether relaxing at home or taking the risk and penetrate in the long lines of this shopping centre. I decided to go ahead and knell me to this landmark of the imperialism. Only after few minutes I regretted as I felt lost in such a atmosphere :) So, after I looked for refuge in the canteen and waited for them upstairs.
The good news is, this evening I had the sensation that my sugars are trying to settled down again, This week was just to forget, I had no initiative for nothing.
Tomorrow we will have the company of two Agniskas, friends of Justyna, I can have some Polish lessons for a week.