Friday, September 4, 2009

The picture of Helder Gray

Well, unexpectedly I had my portrait offered by a friend of mine, Ryan. I was so glad with the gift in the first moment, There was not a day that I did not spend hours in front of this master piece of Art, All the beauty was there, each single line represented all the splendor and emotions that I past through my short existence and the ambitions for what the life would store for me. I could rest in front of the portrait only with my selfishness hours on the line. I liked to enjoy the feeling of having my soul fulfill. It was marvelous to witness the rare achievement of all the beauty caught by a single pencil. The vanity was another one of my sins when I shown to everyone the inspired work that shows a not less inspiring person. Happy to know the creation of God closest to himself will be now immortalized.

The mutual love in between me and my image in the portrait has started to break when I noticed that image was sometimes working as a reflex of myself, No, not only as a reflex but above all my worst imitation. When I needed his approval and understand in delicate situations he only joked with me, sometimes doing copycat of my movements and even been rude and turn his back to myself. Unforgiving. I am scare to go out and leave him alone with Justyna, We never know his intentions and also if he tells something to her out of context and then ruin my reputation and the marriage. What was my glory is nowadays my nightmare.

I concluded that there are only two ways to deal with the situation, or kill him, putting throw away the screen, but then I will need to explain to Justyna why I do not like it, what can arise more suspicious, Also I do not go in that way because I am frightening of opening another Pandora Box. So the only chance to survive is what I am doing, trying to understand why is he so reluctant with me and my acts. But I learnt that the changes that he is demanding are huge. I must transform myself in another man with less defects, much more pure soul. Big challenge I have in front of me.

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