Pavlov's conditioned reflex

Olivia always in the morning whenever she sees us dressing a shoes or jacket or even pick up the keys straight she runs to the door not avoiding her saliva from drooping to the floor, More than her, her instincts wants to go outside. After she goes wild, her wish must be satisfied. If for distraction I pick up a keys without an intention to go outside after I would change my mind, I also want to go out. I only need to help her open the door and she knows the rest of the way, runs in high speed through the corridor. She is in ecstasy always, Nobody can stop her.

Today she did her noon nape almost in the evening, yet on time to see her Brazilian-Polish friend Maya, Sliczna She is lovely. They came to pick up some clothes from Olivia, it is a chain that we want to continue as most of Olivia's clothes were already from some other kid.


discussing where they will travel in the future

Use your illusion

As planned the Dermatologist removed a sample of the scalp to investigate what is the nature of the infection I have in the top of my head. To remember will be two stitches to accumulate to the hundreds I have been collecting in the last year. Also I am bringing home a medicine for an inflammation that I also have in my chest, and the nails will be checked in the next appointment. The nails become with a strange shape more after the chemotherapy. The list of diseases are endless.

Olivia is teaching us how to visualize the life, The Secret is all the small good things deserved always to be hyperbolized and the small bad things never emphasised and neglected if possible, only in that way we are creating an illusion that helps to built up a worth future and to turn the dreams reality. Facing the same thing somebody that only could see drama and other person see something positive, I am sure the first one will not get anything from that. Probably due to her age Olivia is a master of illusion. And we do not have anything to lose following her.

Beauty and the Beast

As long as I am witnessing Olivia grown up as more as increasing my doubts about my paternity :), She is a gracious human being, all her movements are harmonic, With only one year she is not only a fruit of this civilization but also a tree, She stands on the table, the cutlery and napkins are indispensable to help her to eat. In the counterpart is her father, along time ago lost his human being condition, Generously we could call it a Pan, with half donkey another half human. In the restaurant he behaves as a completely animal, The sounds when its jaws moves trying to grate the food accompanied by the fluids that emerged to help swallow the food it shows all the bestiality in the mirror, The hands are his only tools to attack the food, He does not have any sensibility in the use of the tongue to taste the food, In fact we believe that the tongue does not exist. The food is looked only as a resource for his survival. It was a pity to witness the rest of the family in the Nandos today.

At home grotesquely he rarely uses clothes showing all his gorillas nature, Olivia always laughs of its poor condition, poorly her father thinks she is having fun with him.

Tomorrow we will go again to the hospital, the new front is related with the Dermatology, I will have a biopsy to the tissue in my scalp, I am having a infection in the head for a long years and they will try to discover what is it. This time the anesthesia will be local.

Family clerk

Good news in the morning was that Tazz is still recovering very well and the results from the biopsy to the tumour he had removed in the bowl was negative. We all were very happy for Him. As usual the afternoon was filled up with Olivia, even more as she skipped her noon nap. We went back to 70's with the movie Together, but Olivia did not allow us to finish.

Throughout the day I needed to face few hypoglycemias, Sometimes is difficult to understand why, but probably the Liver and its new condition is confusing all the body and myself with the amount of insulin I am injecting, Fortunately the low sugars state it was not so severe as I had in the past, I could recover quickly.

Using the mechanism of a scale, the same Olivia as I said did not want to sleep in the afternoon but in compensation in the evening before 9.00PM she was already sleeping. Long evening for us, long time I have not that feeling. From the windows opened we could listen the crowns and all kind of birds that inhabit the gardens in front of us. The noise are loud and looked as if they were distressed, It is not very pleasant although sometimes help me to forget my loneliness when all are sleeping and I am sitting in the living room reading a book or in the Net. This night Justyna was busy with paper work. Although I was clerk for my subsistence is Justyna nowadays who is the organizer and responsible for the papers at home. I believe the statements and bills and papers to fill up were so many that she got lost among the bills, For hours I did not listen neither seen her, I was already worried when I notice her sighing, She was a live. Job was done.

Lastly just to let you know that he Christmas season has already started here in London, Some shops as Selfridges have their vitrines with all decoration allusive to the season, Ridiculous.

Down you probably would think I got a new job as a clerk, or selling tickets for football but in reality Me and Olivia took a job in selling beers, bifanas e coratos in the entrance of a football stadium. Never seen in London.

Magnificent Sunday

What a Sunday, Sunny and very hot, Today we decided to start our day earlier, In fact it was Olivia who did not give us any choice, Taking advantage of our early bird we went out when everybody was still a sleep, Having our breakfast in a very simpatico Italian shop. Normally good breakfast means great days, the people use to say, If not they should say.

I do not have memory of doing topless in London as I did it today in the park. Today we went to a park where we use to go when we lived in Seven Sisters, It was in Lee Valley. Before we got there we had along journey not only because the rail is off during the weekend but also we had a diversion to pick up some books.

But fortunately early afternoon we finally reached Kaska and Rafi's house and straight away we went to the park, They cooked a lovely meal to have for our picnic, The place was near the canal. The afternoon was so much relaxed even if must of the time I was outside because the Polish was the main language around table. The grass was a magnificent carpet to Olivia and her plays.

Restful week

Unfortunately our holidays in Shubhy's house come to an end, although and fortunately it was a good end of week indeed, I am feeling much better than last week, Shubhy and friends rested and apparently had a great time in Ireland, but the most important Tazz is almost in top form after a week of recovering.

The week was also very positive to Olivia, as she had the best week regarding to her sleep, She looks that is starting to have longer nights sleep. I hope she would behave the same now at our home, This night we change her bed close to us and the mattress goes to floor, We hope it will work :)

The diner was great, we could listen their fantastic holidays and also Neils adventures, It was only missed Ryan.

Backing NHS

After the appointment in the hospital we could rest, We saw a Dr from Tim Meyer team, He was very patient and up to explain me everything and perhaps most important a very good listener. He went with me deeply in my scan, for the first time I could understand what does it look like a CT scan images, I could see by my eyes that there is not any damage, the Liver is almost all recovered, but essentially the problem that I have in my back is not due to any Cancer, In fact in one of the sides of my back the muscle is bigger than in the other one. The doctor does not have a explanation, only said that the swollen in the side of my back could be due to the fact the muscles are compensating all the changes that my body is passing after all the surgeries. Now I will do a cycle of pain killers to release the pain in that way I might be more relax and move better my back, because is like a vicious cycle, we have pain and after conditioning our movements it will be even worst. Regarding to the bloated tummy he could not see any problem there but anyway to play in the save side I would do a ultrasound.

Again he mentioned a small lump in the back of the stomach that will be discuss in the next meeting of doctors, but the prominence is very tiny and the growth was minimum so I should be easy about that. Today and after that I really feel much better.

What make me feel also good is the way all the staff, from doctors, receptionists, nurses, everybody treat us, All are so gentle, so human, It looks like everybody was chosen for the right job. Inside the hospital I feel always like with family. Olivia is the most famous and I am taking advantage of that. This takes me to the new discussion about the NHS vs NUS (American National Unhealthy System) When I was diagnosed with Cancer I was having a temporally working, therefore if was living in USA I would not have any social care, I will be on my own, Probably I would need to ask for money to pay the treatments. But here in UK I never felt that I was not well treated because of my nationality, because of did not working full time. When I go to the hospital frequently we can see so much poor people around, I ask does this people not deserved a human treatment, having a hope for a better life, I think this is a responsibility of all of us, Today we are fine tomorrow we can need help and it is as shame if nobody would be in the other side. I think is worth to keep this flame on, If necessary the rich become less rich I will stand up for that.

In the other day a friend told me last time he went to USA he had a problem and needed to go to the emergency of a hospital, but to have any assistance he was asked before anything for is credit card, without that no medical help. Where is the commitment of the doctors to Hippocratic oath, I am sure the money it is not an excuse or exception.

The week cannot finished better than having the visit of Veena and Chrisna for diner, it was hilarious the evening, Ryan joined us after. I am sure he was sad to do not bee with us in the diner. Also I need to complain about the censoring of a picture by Chrisna.