Friday, May 4, 2012

In a mess

This is not happening to me, it is what I am screaming inside my emptiness, I have a beautiful wife and daughter and I want to live my Life, but I am finding myself in a narrower tunnel, I am scary that there is nothing else to see and to enjoy. In the morning was all smiles and hope, in the end of the day was just one injection that supposed to bring goodness, but again already inside the doctor's office I was taken by surprise with a devastating news, hit by a car, or a train. I was told about the last minute change of plans, The treatment is not the paradise and a mild drug but instead the purgatory and a heavy tablets. This because the disease spread to another places and got bigger, we thought that it would be calm for a while but pure fallacy. Next Friday I am starting the new medicine which hopefully can hold the growth for a while, But if not.. here is the biggest problem, The doctor said to us that this is the end of the line, there is nothing else to be offered me, at least proven that can help. I believe that I am now in a mess, looking for anyway to feel the ground inside, anything that could make all this worth.

From the Hospital, me and Justyna did not know where to go, we just walk and walk, It is harder for me to know that Justyna could do everything to see me better, but there is nothing she can do, Too hard for all of us. Olivia is with Shubhi, she will come soon, I do not know how I will react.
Life carries on,  difficult to believe :)

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