Friday, October 3, 2008

Dilemma on the table


Again me in the second morning after starting chemotherapy. For now what I am missing is a good night sleep, I had been warned already in the hospital for the prospective of get very shorts sleeps, this because of the influence of steroids meanwhile spread out trough all the corners of my body. I suppose a steroid for a day would be equivalent to a few dozens of espresso :) The other thing that disturbs my sleepiness is the fight that sometimes turns in battle, between the expected nausea or sickness and the opposite effect given by the anti-sickness tablets that retains the food inside but not relief the gases and contractions of the all area between my throat and my stomach. The worst it was the first night, when I went to bed I felt my head going around, for a moment I thought should I put one foot out of the bed to stop that unstoppable circular movement of my bed, or maybe my head :)

Accumulating to this is now the erratic behave of the sugar levels, I got before the treatment 100% controlled now is sem% controlled, This brings extra challenge to my diet, because a Cancer patient should eat a lot of Carbohydrates, in order to keep the weight and energies, but my diabetic condition and within sugars out on control advises me some moderation in fatty and sugary food.

Yesterday afternoon I went to the Royal Free Hospital to take the first picture to see the updated state of all my organs, essential from whom we are more concern, Liver and Pancreas. This shots should be our term of comparison in the term of the treatment.

In the day I come home from the first session of Chemotherapy I was so glad to see so many comments in my blog, some of them from lovely friends for now unknown that are passing for the same, For them I want to send a big hug full of love and positiveness, I do not have any doubts that soon we will meet each other and share our stories. Another big and eternal thank you to you, Laurinda Alves, for your words about me and my blog. It had such a stimulated effect in busting my ego and confidence in order to keep standing and fighting to whatever is coming. Kisses also to you Maria Manuela Esteves for this beautiful surprise.

I will leave the link to Laurinda Alves' Blog:

For the English friends I will help with a translation of her flattering words about me.

"The run for a life, is a title of the blog that touch me today, and deeply inspired me. It touched me for its truthful, for intimate and for the reality of a man that I do not know, that become a father. And had been diagnosed with terrible cancer. Helder started today his chemotherapy treatment. He is Portuguese and lives in London, reason why he writes in English in his blog. The friends are leaving messages in Portuguese and giving support for all the way. It impressed me everything he tells in the blog. And overall the way he reports his must intimate things. Sacred"

Big Kiss

1 comment:

laurinda alves said...

Obrigada Hélder, mais uma vez. Pela força, pela alegria e pela partilha corajosa e verdadeira dos momentos mais difíceis e incertos. Todos temos dilemas interiores e todos vivemos inquietos por uma razão ou outra e é justamente esta partilha de fragilidades que nos faz a todos mais fortes. Há uma grande frase de um grande santo que diz que "é quando somos fracos, que somos fortes!" e eu acredito profundamente nisto. E tenho sentido isso em alturas mais adversas, de maior dor, dúvida ou perplexidade. Conte connosco, que nós também estamos a contar consigo! Um abraço extensivo à sua família. Em especial às duas girls da sua vida!