Friday, November 6, 2009

Act of contrition

I come to a conclusion that I am a germ, the most creeping animal. The signs are more than enough of my guilty, and of been a vile coward covered in hypocrisy. Sometime ago I behaved as the highest person, arrogant, I never had doubts. I was pursuit and very close to the perfection of the Human being in the Earth, no doubts about that. My place has as destiny the summit of the mountain. Like Clamence in the Fall from Camus I could not see myself in any place under at least the 4th floor, and nothing less the Nobel Prize would be waiting for me. If the Gods were not with me I would not worried, because in fact I did not need them. I was in command of myself. But, friends this had been shaken in the last year. What serves as a consolation for such a change in my attitude and paradigm that implicated this earthquake and the consequent fallen from the pedestal was a big and serious reason, a tentacular Cancer.

After the last events I have reason to feel double shame, The fall was not only physical, with my capacities reduced to a milionesima part of once were, but also mentality. It is difficult to face the society as before, with a proudly face. How can I tell nowadays, that I keep and am following with all the respect the words of God, from wherever it comes. What excuses, whereas were a strong man believing only himself now there is a weak man that at the first problem and threat turn off his back to his religion. Seen under siege from the death thrown to the floor what he believed all his life and grabbed what he thought it was his lifeline. I am sorry to disappoint you and also God.

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