Monday, September 8, 2008

Self Portrait

Boa noite meus amigos,

It was strange today to woke up and do not see my mother around, for all morning me and Justyna were with the sensation of some emptiness, nobody come out from mum's room as usual to give us a good Morning or to volunteer to give us a hand with whatever. This feeling only started do disappear as the day went through and also we became more comfortable and happy when we contact and saw mum with all the family in Portugal enjoying a much more sunny day than here. It is wonderful to see the picture of the family having back some peace. I believe it was a very fulfill day to my mum, she could see the rest of the family including dogs, and luckily went on time to attend the religious ceremony of Nossa Sra Luz, em Lagoa.

Here, we had a very spicy lunch, what I suppose did not contribute to me to have the best digestion, I felt some stomach ache, but it past after some movements around the house. The dinner in the evening it was already regular, this might be related also to the fact that I still eat to much while I am not so active as I was before. Anyway I am keeping an eye on it and soon will start some exercise.

In the afternoon I had the visit of my friend Miriam, who lives also in London and after we decided to go down to the Angel and meet Pajo. We altogether went for a long and very pleasant walk along the canal. It was an opportunity to have some contact with the water, observe some people recreating themselves with kayaks and see the cyclist crossing the canal. To witness other people having fun and doing some sport is something that brings me a lot of memories and emotions. In one side I feel happy to show to Olivia how much the life could be enjoyable but for other side it make me think that I might be not able to do anymore some of the things that before represented important part of my life. It has been a very hard task for me, only in three months, to suddenly erase from the list of my day life things that before I took for guarantee. Three months ago I was eating and drinking all what I liked, I was playing football one day a week, jogging almost all evenings, cycling through all London, going out during the weekend, I just thought I would have this life style forever, doing all or more what a normal person could aspire. After only three months I am in other extreme, With significant less amount of confidence in myself, dependent for almost everything, less energetic, eating a reduced variety of food. Do not knowing if fighting for a life or just to extend it. As I suspected the tumour founded it was not a good deal, I can tell you even if it sounds, Tumour does not rhyme with Humour.

For a weeks we thought I could have straight a second operation but the doctors did not allow me to skip that important stage of the cancer, the chemotherapy, Unfortunately I will learn the real and full trip through the world of the Cancer. Without to much demand from me, honestly I still have a big hope based in the medical knowledge that I can finished this voyage alive. The battle is difficult but I will kill all the Cylons of the empire, inspiring in the Galactica serial that I watched tonight.
Warm Kisses

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