Friday, September 5, 2008

The Ballet still on

Hello lovely friends,

Another weekend is approaching in a strong pace, and probably you have the same sensation as I have, I am feeling the time just flying, actually I do not have the perception of time anymore. The events that use to make me aware about that convention: the job, the cinema in Monday, the jogging in the evening, I lost already. The beacon of each day for me is only the days of important meetings with doctors and the days for an operation or when there is perspectives of any important decision.
The strategy now undertaken by doctor Fusai, the operator as he called is Wait & Watch, because it makes depending the operation or any other intervention from the behaviour of the tumour with the chemotherapy. Personally I do not like the idea in itself, It sounds that the life stopped until the revelation of the ultimate decision, surgery or not. Honestly, I do not like but I confess very often I see my day following that. Sometimes I need to be pushed by Justyna to keep doing things that I used to do in normally basis or even trying to reach some moments of pleasure, sometimes almost forgotten. I need to be more demanding with myself and do not think so much in the future and focus only in the Today, even more now after this deception.
Today I heard a comment from my friend Pajó that was curious but made sense, when yesterday I mentioned a clock bomb that I would have to carry with me for the rest of my life, as he said is something that can play in my favour, All of us are already carry a clock bomb during our life, the clock is always counting and ticking for everybody, of course if in a quantitative terms I can have a prospective of a shorter existence but in other side it gives me the opportunity to face the same life in different way, gaining in qualitative terms.
As some of you already know I never been the best dancer in the world but after the operation and the performance that was asked me to undertake I became addicted and now at home there is not any day that I do not used my sexy anti embolism stocking to the rehearsal for the next play. By the way I still open for bookings but only in the biggest stages in the world. I am so slim that I am able to fly :) Promise
Enjoy your next day

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