Friday, January 7, 2011

Out of the track

Another appointment in the Royal Free Hospital made all the family to wake up early and move as the nomads do, just instead our bags were full of hope, fear, and love. I was very happy to see again my preferred Oncologist, Dr Gilmore. She is very humane, the closest doctor to my heart that I ever had. It was beautiful too see Olivia holding hands with her, like to see my Love being friend of the worst enemy of the Cancer, It is a case to tell a friend of a friend is always my Friend. Not all is good news but when the things are very well explained, in the eyes the pain is more bearable. The doctors meeting concluded that in fact the cancer is again more active and there is signs of a new legion in the Liver found out in a very detailed examination that they did. Definitely the Sunitinib is not getting its aim, From tomorrow I will give up those tablets, also because the next step, the Radiotherapy cannot be performed as the same time as I am having those pills because both damaged the bone marrow. To be honest the Sunitinib will not be missed in this House.

Speaking with the doctor I reinforced my impression that I am playing a game of catch up, or a run that I am keeping failing for few inches to catch the Cancer, and now I am again few inches behind It. Firstly it was after the operation apparently there was few Cancer cells left in the Liver that not allowed to this become a past, now few weeks ago there was a debate whether I should have another surgery to get rid of the Cancer in the Liver, This would be possible only if the Cancer showed stable, but just in the last moment the scans told a different thing, So all this plans were postponed for an eventual day that can be stopped again and be stable its march. In the appointment I was very emotional, also because of tiredness, and I asked the doctor with a tear in my eyes what is my future and Olivia's? she did not paint the scenery pink but gave also hopes, which is the only thing that I need, She hopes that the radiotherapy will have a good effect, and whatever happens this is still not the end of the line, because there is more treatments in the shelves, inclusive few new encouraging Drugs. After, I smiled, happy with this lollipop.

In this way, we left the Hospital with our bags full of good and bad thoughts. The wheels are still not on the track and this was proved when in the Underground station we lost one of the wheels from Olivia's pram, which fell to the train line. It was surrealistic the events after, I called the emergency of the station which came downstairs with a torch to see where was the missed wheel, For that they needed to stop a train that was approaching the station, So for a minute we had our moment of glory and fame, everybody in the station was looking for us, and probably whole London underground have been disrupted for a single minute because of Olivia's pram, Our deep apologises. After all went smoothly.

In the afternoon it was great to have the visit and company of my friend Sergio, all of us went for a ride in his car to Justyna pick up wool for her new hobby, Nowadays I am feeling as a child, I am so excited and happy just to go in a ride in a car.

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