Sunday, August 3, 2008

Am I in the right train?

Olá caros amigos,

This weekend I have been feeling very exhausted, the sugars have betrayed me. Keep going up and down and with that my mood and confidence keeps also changing. Normally, when the sugar level is down I just think about a piece of any sweet and I would run straight for a chocolate. It is the only occasion that I am allowed to have the taste of a sugary snack, So, sometimes it is very welcome this moments, Hypoglycemia :) But in other side when my sugars levels jump to the other extreme, Hyperglycemia it comes the strong headache, nostalgic and often the sad sensation of a not good ending for this story.

Because of the pancreas been hill, it cannot produce enough insulin to cope with the food that I am eating and to help on that process I am injecting two times a day a certain amount of insulin. This is fundamental for the body as other hormones. I can imagine few years ago without the artificial insulin how many people had died with diabetes. Fortunately nowadays a diabetic person could aspire a normal quality of live.

My diabetes would be a normal case if the illness of pancreas would be stable, but apparently the tumour should keep getting stronger, therefore the amount of insulin should be also reviewed in daily basis, but this is not an easy task...

This Sunday I have been hostage of sugars, I woke already sleepy and tired, even to write this few lines was a hard job. But there is nothing that could stop me to speak with my friends. In this situation I am taking advantage to 'recharge' batteries, reading a not recommended book for a sick people :) –Everyman, Philip Roth.

Often also I found myself thinking about friends and even more about my childhood, going to the Fonte da Telha beach hitchhiking, going very early in the morning to buy few carcaças(portugueses bread) to bring to the beach. In other day I will speak about memories, I will not forget :)

Tomorrow will start a very busy week for me, I confess that in the present I preferred the week rather than the weekend (and I am still not insane). Rather than the quiet weekend when I have a lot of time to think about everything the week reserve me busy days, which make me feel the things are move on. For example this week commencing tomorrow, throughout all week I will have a test for my diabetes, check out my feet, and after I got endoscopy, PET scan, and also an unexpected appointment with surgery team this Wednesday.

We presume that appointment with surgeon is to discuss what would happen if they decided to go ahead with operation. I told Justyna how happy I would be if I have that operation soon, as it looks would be the best way to get rid of a big part of the problem. Even, if I have been told it would be something very dangerous. These kinds of surgery we never know in detail were it would stop before they start. But for sure it will be cut it parts of pancreas, liver and duodenum, I can see already a smile in the face of any butcher:)
Nevertheless it will be an opportunity to assume my condition of mutant with super powers, using my special powers of a Latin bear-man, my hairy belly will be there to cover any scars :)
Lots of love


Francisco Narciso said...


O caminho certo é seguires em frente, e saberes que, por vezes, mais do que antecipares o objectivo final, é saberes que tens várias etapas prévias a percorrer, e que cada uma é uma conquista.

Certamente que não dou lições a este respeito a um atleta.

PS: Fica a promessa de repetirmos uma jogatana na Fonte da Telha.

Até breve e um abração.

Francisco Narciso

About Us said...

Opa, Helder

A Anuska falou hoje comigo, deu-me o endereço do teu blog e conto-me o que se passa. Estive a ler os teus pensamentos e sabendo o teimoso que és, vais dar cabo deste son of a bitch – no fucking doubt!

Tens uma filhota lindona (e Parabéns, os miúdos são o melhor deste mundo) e é mais uma grande razão para lutares como um touro valente.

Envio-te um abraço mágico de Corroios .... cheio de Carinho, Amor e muita, muita mas mesmo muita FORÇA!

Estás nos nossos pensamentos e nos nossos corações. Muitas Positive Vibes e a única coisa a ver é, ainda que com bastantes e dificeis etapas pelo meio, a linha da vitória. Confiança – you can beat this!

Beijão & Abração Grandes
Isabel da Palma