Saturday, December 6, 2008

Polish angels

A long day we had left behind, At afternoon we went to an already traditional Christmas lunch in Maria's' house, divine Paellas and other sort of food on the table. And of course so many sweaty sweets tempting me and I am sorry I could not resist to pick up some from the Justynas' plate. But of course the occasion was great to review a lot of friends that we have not seen for a long time, Funny that I enjoy very much to have people and friends around nevertheless I do not feel keen on to too much interact and have an active participation in the chats, nowadays I prefer to listen or just be there. Overall in the last couple of days I have been feeling very sad, that ended up in the night with a depression taking part of brain, something that I could not avoid. Is difficult to explain why, fortunately as I said to Justyna, it is not due to any pain, because have been feeling pretty good, I think it is just about the pressure that I am start to go through with another unpleasant chemotherapy session on the way, determinants scanning on the sight and of course the sacred word from the surgeon almost to be known. But, also to the sorry that I am committed to live probably forever regarding to the people that had and been suffering with Cancer. Some examples that I get know in my way I cannot turn my back or pretending that it is not my problem. I feel the Cancer and people fighting against must be part always of my thoughts.

Anyway, I must understand that fact does not mean that I cannot become happy again. I still do not know how I will do it, probably Olywka will teach me.
But for now I just want to cry and I cannot do anything against that, At least what make more calm is to know that to fell more comfortable I just need to go to the bedroom and look for my angels sleeping.

Good night sleep

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