Sunday, August 29, 2010

Two loves

My dreams are going around my feet, I am scare about what will be the development down in the feet. If I reduce the dose of Sunitinib the pain will go away and the Cancer can be controlled or instead, I will not reduce and the feet syndrome will not pass and I will face the dramatic decision of giving up the Sunitinib. The other piece that confounds all this puzzle is another pill antibiotic that I am taking everyday, the Claritromicin, that affects the Liver and interacts negatively with Sunitinib. The weight of both pills in the Liver are enormous and the effects can be also that in the feet. In two weeks I will speak with the surgeon to ask if I can give up or even take a different antibiotic that will not interferes with the Sunitinib. For one day I thought to give up myself the antibiotic and keep the high dose of Sunitinib to see if the things would get better, but after I reconsidered and I think I should only take any decision after speak with doctors. Now they told me to keep take the antibiotic and reduce the Sunitinib from 37.5g to 25g a day to see if there is any improvement, and that is it what I should do from tomorrow. Please forgive me Justyna and Olivia but, I can say that I am divided between two loves, the Sunitinib and the Claritromicin.

All this mind games and torture self inflicted are corrode this Man, and what remains from it. The only thing that keeps sometimes this man up and fell respected is the respect that his daughter shows for him. He asks her to set the table for dinner, she follows the instructions without any comment, He asks her to bring the socks or shoes, She brings in the next second.

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