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Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Dreaming in silence

This days only helps me to confirmed what a Cancer can do, It is able to fill up all our day, our thoughts, our movements, I can say that sometimes the Day is not split in day and night, but instead in Cancer and in cancer.

Today was one of those, that my routine was broken by an appointment in the Hospital, Before I loved to go to the hospital, wanted to know news but nowadays I prefer the calm and tranquility of home and a routine than the distress, nervous, smell and anxiety that are around in the corridors of the Hospital. I went to see the surgeon again after half a year. Surprisingly, for me his speech has changed slightly today from the others before. He said that he needs more information to take a decision. But I did not know what he was talking about, But he explained that he wants to see me gain in a month after my next CT scan in the end of September, Then he will talk with the oncologist and see the evolution of the tumour and study any chance to operate. Of course all this is new and good, but I need to keep calm and just do my bit. The things will not be easy because the doctor also mentioned that in my case if I would ask to 10 doctors, 9 will tell me that will not be any operation, Also does not help the fact of I have been already 2 times in his scissors hands and this is not a piece of cake according to him. I have three nodules, two in the Liver and another one in the abdomen, and it is the last one which is around the blood vessels which makes according to the doctor more difficult to get there.

But let us dream in silence, without too much noise.

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