Thursday, April 28, 2011

Endless way

Nothing is working anymore. The same routine as usual, doctor called us to the appointment to listen the news about yesterday's scan, but this time the outcome was even harder than usual, It never past through my mind. The doctor apologised few times, he was going to give me news that he did not want to give The chemotherapy did not work at all, the tumour in the Liver has increased size again but worst, there is another lymphoid spread through the body, now grown in the Lungs. This was a bomb that did not burnt me forever, and I do not know why? Sometimes I would like to feel the reality, to sense which path I am going. Apart of some cramp in the stomach the first thing I did and I do remember it was to look straight to Olivia, and I met her eyes looking for me with all the pity of this World.

I have two realities, One is the scenery given me by the doctor in an apologetic and realist way, saying the worst, and in the other side is scenery given by my body and which is faraway from all the cataclysm, I am been feeling with energy and without pain, So I need to stick with the second option. In the end I might teach something to the doctors.

The next treatment will be radiotherapy, I will need to recharge batteries and keep all the faith and hope in this new treatment as if I would start this path right now. It is the only way to go somewhere not expected.

To carry on with the day as normal as possible I needed to climb a mountain to make myself go to the Art class, and in a good time I did it as I found myself with the good times.

There is a lesson that I will keep always with me, a sacred person said once watch your mind, never give space and time to the mind to have bad thoughts, This is the fuse for the bad reality. The person which said that left Us few days ago, Sai Baba was a person which does not belong to anybody or religion, He belongs to everyone who is lucky to find him.


jorge henriques said...

Ola Helder
Nao e facil ouvir essas noticias mas Helder como sabes a medicina nao e uma ciencia exacta e portanto nao podemos baixar os braços e o que verdadeiramente interessa e que ainda e possivel TUDO...
Abraço e beijocas as princesas

Ps- desculpa pela falta de acentos mas o meu teclado esta sem vontade de colaborar.

Luís Ganhão said...

Força amigo!!!!!
Enche-te de energia positiva... a vitória no final será TUA.

Grande Abraço de Força e JOKAS às tuas princesas