One step back before two forward

Ola a todos

At the time I am telling my day I need to confess that I am bit down, with some tears blocked in somewhere, as I have my eyes dried but my soul is hurt and my heart experimenting some pain. The only thing that is keeping and open me a smile now is my Olivia, She just now felt a sleep with her angelic expression, I cannot have enough of her look, I will fight to have that longer and longer, I promise.

Today we went for another appointment with Dr. Fasai, but rather than last time even if pragmatic this meeting the result were less apotheotic and more cold. We were expecting some date for the next operation but unfortunately the plans changed, Instead of going straight to the surgery I need to submit at least three months of chemotherapy. This is a result from a discussion between different doctors, the base was the examination done to the tumour removed before from the Pancreas. Doctor said unfortunately the tumour looked more malign than they predicted in the beginning, With this fact, firstly it is necessary to test the reaction of the metastases in the Liver for chemotherapy, If stagnate or shrank after the process . This strategy is more reasonable rather than undertake an operation now, and after do the chemotherapy. This could lead to the scenery of a growth of the metastases in the Liver after the operation but then it would be impossible to put me to another surgery.

Consequently, the idea is to meet Dr Caplin and Dr Tim Meyer, last one is the specialist in chemotherapy, and after three months of the bitter taste of the chemicals I would be examined and then I could go for more chemotherapy or already for the operation. For this reason I have already an appointment with the surgeon booked for three months time. And the chemotherapy should start in two to four weeks.

Dr Fasai showed himself optimistic, he said the first operation to the Pancreas was successful and I went very well but reminded me in a frightening ton "a present oncologic patient is a oncologic patient for life" meant I need to live my life without think to much in the clock bomb I will have inside my body. It is hard but I am learning.

This make me think in what my father whose to tell me, nothing is for free and everything has a big price, result is all the journey it will take me much longer time and more pain. Of course Justyna and my mum are always very close, now when I need, and tomorrow I will wake up with different spirit and more optimistic.

Kisses and keep smiling for life