Other way around

End of the month, last post of October, and consequently my bank account getting bigger. Yes, If you do not know this become my job, and not anymore the moment in the end of the day that I use to exorcise my devils and ghosts :)

If my life it still moored to this bed, for Justyna the World does not stop, She keeps triplicating her self to respond to all jobs that feel in her shoulders, and they are a lots due to the weakness of mines. At least I hope tomorrow I will feel stronger to enjoy the company of some dear friends that are arriving in London to visit us, Patricia, Miguel, Dani, Ruca, Pedro and Celia will be my welcome medicine for this weekend, Lovely.

In a time that in Portugal the people are complaining about the shortages of babies, the family Assuncao does not stop to increase, this year it has been very prolific, Now is Alexandra gave a birth to a beautiful Ruben, Congratulations for both. I will see you soon.

Beijos

View from my bed

To reply to some demands here it goes one of my small drawings, Seriously this was not made by Olivia. This one is the view that I am enjoying big part of my day and of course night in my bedroom. What you see is what I can see from my position in bed.

The distortion perspective it could be affected by chemotherapy that I am undergo :)

This chemotherapy session it has been more difficult to past through, The bed has been bigger company this time than last session, I presume there is here the accumulation factor. Anyway there is nothing that the time will not bring to an end.

Please make sure you finished well the week

Oliwka not as Mafalda

Hello,

As you already have realized, when I do not have any idea of what to write and to tell you, I use the photo of my most precious thing, my love Oliwka. I would say she is my Joker :) This also because big part of my day it belongs to her. Today I was woke since around 4.00 AM and I could not wait to see her awoke, this was already 7.00 AM. This morning it was a unique moment, the snow was everywhere outside and Olivia was in a such a spirit, She just could not stop to laugh and looking for attention.

Today she had the opportunity to try her first meal, a soup superbly cooked by mum, I am sure this one even Mafalda Quino would liked. By the way another thing that must be reported is the fact that she already had her first incursion in the family of Nestum com Mel some days ago.

In opposition to Olivia, the father what found more hard to deal today, it was exactly with the food. I have been very sick, the food does not come out but is doing big pressure after the stomach, I think is where the strong anti sickness tablets that I am taking meant to be effective. Last session this sensation it was not so strong, but I hope it will not last for more than a week.

In other area, Housing, we went to an institution called Shelter to seek for some help to deal with the council, or whatever. The first approach did not leave a lot to wish.

Yet, last note to say thank you to Filipe and Claudia for the gift, I am enjoying the memorable album from Frank Sinatra and Carlos Jobim

:)

Fabulous white car

Ola everybody,

Here I am enjoying the first day of my hangover after the chemotherapy, It is not great but at least it is going according to my expectation already formed in the last and first session. The sleeping it is one of the things more affected, this overall because the huge component of steroids in the drugs and anti sickness. So I guess I should had managed to rest around two hours overnight but anyway it was enough to charge batteries for my day. I felt OK in the morning, probably more tired as usual but in a good mood. I spent the whole day at home eating and resting. Fortunately today it comeback some of appetite lost in the last days, in that way I seek to put some kilo lost meanwhile. One of the side effects that I am also learning how to cope is to deal with the lost of memory and ability to do deal with more or less complicated cognitive processes. I think at the moment the most complicated maths operation I can go it would be "1+1=11", Whoever can sorted out the "cubic formula" for me is a doctor, no a genius ! Anyway for the moment for the use of my daily routine I think the addition formula it is enough to survive. The Olivka is not complaining at least, I think we are at the same level.

In the other day somebody was telling with right that I did such a great job to fecund the lovely and gorgeous Olivia, that I become very sick. So now the Olivka also it will be my medicine to cure the problem :)

Splendid news my friends it has started to snow here in London since an hour ago, the night become very beautiful seen from indoors, the cars are already covered by a white blanket, It is also time to myself look for the comfort of my bed and catch up the dreams of Justyna already in a deep sleep.

Love for all

Chemotherapy-Session 2

Well, just now I got home, It has been a long weekend, extended until Monday. Unfortunately the same pain I felt in my back in Friday, came back in the Saturday night, Thus the family did not have any other option than goes again at 3.00AM to the Royal Free Hospital, and this time only the morphine can shut up the big pain in my back that I felt. For a while all the staff in emergency ward forgot about me and only wanted to see Olivia, or review from the day before, as I was admitted in the same block in the night before :) Through the night they carried out more testes, X-ray to my column, but again nothing it was found and the Kidneys, Liver were working OK. Sunday, I past all day and night in the Hospital, and by my own initiative I decided to throw to the bin all the pain killers that they were giving to me, in order to test if the pain would come back Sunday night, This decision it was in total secret with myself. In the case that I would feel the pain I would be already in the hospital, But for God it did not came, even if I was waiting for that.

Then, Monday morning the doctor agreed that I could go for my day two of chemotherapy without problems, and after comeback home with some strong pain killers for the case of the pain return.

By now the session is finished and I had my meal and now only bed.

Beijos

Both sides of the Moon

The last two days give us an opportunity to discover the both sides of the Moon, Yesterday I saw Dr. Tim Mayer in the Royal Free Hospital, the oncologist responsible for the Chemotherapy for the Neuroendocrines. This routine consulting was quick, just to confirm that the things are going fine, and my body is coping well with the chemotherapy, therefore should not be problem to continuous the treatment this Monday. This is only depending from the blood tests of the blood collected in the Morning. Afterwards, only time to run to the UCL Hospital to do the last collection of a seminal specimen. Finally and according to the responsible of the Fertility Department after three visits and three samples, the future should be safe. In good time to finalize our visit to the Town, we had met our friend Richard Kerr. Although, the tough time for all of us, the trio including Ian Small are in some way progressing positively since the last time we met and keeping in the good track. It was recharging for us to catch up with such a friend :)

But, in the afternoon, after back home, it was reserved an unexpectedly long evening. This night the other side of the Moon and darker decided to enlighten us. Suddenly without a warn a big pain took over of me. All the lower abdomen and the back fell in a big and unbearable pain. The pain killers could not work, as well as the food was vomited. I tried to stand still at home, but after few hours without manage the pain we took the right decision, at 2.00 AM we took a cab to the Accident and Emergency of the Royal Free Hospital. There, I was connected to the drip that infused the anti-sickness to avoid more vomiting and the necessary anti killers to bring down the pain. I need to confess that the time that the pain killers come inside the veins, it was my best moment, for sure at least until the visit to the Fertility department :)

The pain was worth after such a trip with the pain killers. That moment I could not think about the day of Tomorrow.

If the pain started to be controlled yet the checks carried out could not detected what was in the origin of such a pain. It would have explanation if the problem was in the Liver or Pancreas, but in the lower abdomen, the Chemotherapy's side effects did not mention anything about that. Also the X-Rays did not show any stones in Kidneys as that one it was also a possibility. Anyway, In the morning the pain was over and in the afternoon I had green light to come home.

Even if for now, I am OK, I feel that now on the things are not anymore the same, I am afraid of the pain comeback anytime and more cautions about the future.

But, it is remarkable the speed that I always respond to this setbacks and incidents that continuous happening to me, I think this only can be explained and also attest my willing to recover and live longer. I am not sure if I really love the life or is just my stubbornness, I do not want to give up in this fight.

Lovely weekend

Relaxing time

If I tell you what I did in my day, for sure the ones who know me better will tell, This is not Helder. So, there it goes, The Morning I spent reading a book in between the breakfast and the lunch. The Afternoon I tried to go on with the Puzzle that I already initiated but duet of its high difficult grade I am stuck in the frame, But what most surprised me it was to see myself passing around five hours drawing and painting the landscape from my bed, Nothing very beautiful but it was very colourful and meticulous job. Though not planned certainly the disease is helping me to make me a more calm and sensitive man.

Although the Cancer that does not give me the quality of live that I was use to, I am compensating with other moments of joy that no other way I could experiment. I do not leave Olivia alone a minute, and I am enjoying some moments of pure peace and rest. Reading, writing, drawing, and chatting without timetable is great :) I thought before, I only could find the balance of my life with completely different things.

It was good to have a quite day as tomorrow I will be set for another busy day, I will be checked in the Royal Free Hospital how my body is coping with chemotherapy, I will need to do some blood testes and after speak with the oncologist. In the afternoon I will do another trip to the UCL Hospital to give more units of semen.

Regards