Sow better days

The old strategy is still not working, trying to keep busy not always works, I am still faraway from find any peace. All the family, including Shubhy and Tom went this morning to the garden centre to shop. Justyna was in heaven, She loves flowers, everything from the ground makes her in the sky. She had her day totally fill up with gardening, just now I could see her back home from the garden :)

I am all the time nervous and in tension, There is no book, no draw that makes me calm down and enjoy whatever. Even Olivia found me often upset with her, probably not always I was right :(
I am going through those days when the brain finds pain everywhere, sometimes virtual. If there is a cough and I am breathless, straight I think it is the Lungs that are sick, If I have pain in the Liver it is the Liver sick, If it is in the Left side is something else... Sometimes it is a discomfort everywhere plus the erratic sugar levels. Today for a couple of times I just landed in the bed in order to avoid to lose all the plot. I want better days.