The first treatment arrived and I came already home this afternoon. I need to recognise that the things went very smoothly, over my expectations. We were in Hospital yesterday at 11.00 AM and I left today at 1.00 PM. The day was raining which made a perfect day to be in a Hospital.
As I expected I had a very busy afternoon in my private suite, started with the infusion of a protein to protect as much as possible the kidneys from contamination, The order was to drink and drink bottles and bottles of water to pass out as quick as possible all the radiation that went to the kidneys. And after all the explanations and paper work, before 5 PM the team of doctors from the Nuclear medicine arrived, Olivia and Justyna had orders to kiss me and to leave, from there was me and the Yttrium 90, There was a big ritual that I witnessed before the infusion of the radiation started to be pumped through a drip aiming the Liver. They set up a barrier close to the doors from where nobody could pass forward and neither me leave, the toilets were covered with a extra floor, and the doctors completely protected started the procedures with all a concentration, checking and double checking the machine, with soft and so gentle movements with all the products that I confess scared me. But at 5 PM all was done and the professionals with job done and well done departed straight away from my room. After, I had about two hours that I was a bit confused but not panic, In the end I have already some experience in this business. Not knowing what I should feel and not sure what I was feeling in that time was normal, I felt for a while back and abdomen pain, I tried to walk in the room and I went few times to the toilets which was relieving, But fortunately after I lay down in the bed and trying to put the bad thoughts in the drawer slowly it became better.
Having so much time ahead and been without almost nothing that can distract me, only newspapers which I read in a flash in spite of the dizziness when I focus too long in the papers, I had other problem to sort out, how to help to kill the next 80 000 seconds. Should I concentrated in a big clock positioned in front of me ticking all the seconds in my ears but not noticeable any movement in the pointers, or instead look incessant to the drops of the fluids, that I was still receiving. To be honest I preferred the last one, I was already counting a thousand drops past through the drip when I looked again to the bottles, they looked also with the same quantity left, So I though that I could not go anywhere with this tactic, I will be crazy :) The sensation of have your space limited does not help as well to relax. Having said that all the people as usual are unforgettable, They are there for you.
Fortunately slowly the sleeping come, when I felt my legs responding involuntarily with a intense and blunt movement as a kick of a horse I remember to be very happy, that meant I should fall asleep soon. I rested all the night. I woke around 8.00 AM feeling fresh and very positive, with the sensation that not always all goes wrong. Breakfast was in a rush because I have a lift to take me downstairs to have a nuclear scan, which showed activity in the Liver, I was even more happy. The aiming of this product is to kill as much as possible the Cancer cells and wrapped the area to not come back in the same place. There is a statistical ( and I hate statistics, a bit more when they are against you, like the politicians) 70% of the people under this treatment had good results, so for sure the Good news are about to come.
The plan is to have medicines for more five days and to do blood tests every week, which I will do close to my home, For three months I will not need to go to the Hospital, which is a record, To be honest I will not miss it :) In three months I will be back for another session.
When I come out even if I need to keep some distance from Justyna and Olivia I was of course very happy to see them again, but more, I had my great friend Nuno also in the waiting room, Nuno arrived in London this morning from USA, just for a day but it was so special even more in a day like this, Thank you for your care and friendship.
Today this lines are going already long (to compensate yesterday), so I will finished, also to rest. I am feeling very tired, the movements are in slow motion. To be honest I saw already this film.
See your for sure tomorrow.
Have you heard about a Man of inch and half? and about a Man for half day? so the last one is where I belong, for now.... This morning was to remember, we had an inspirational walk through the fields of the beautiful Trent Park with the family. I could see not only me but everybody full of happiness and enjoy the company of each other. We all took the most from the view of the green trees, the smell of the grass, the noises that cleared up our brains from any bad thoughts. Tazz looked as doggy. The morning felt as a full day and probably because of such a short long morning in the afternoon I collapsed :) The side effects from the radiotherapy are now arriving testing my skills to found energies in the small things. Afternoon nap become a routine and to not do nothing is another great hobby.
I asked so many times for more days like this, and slowly they are coming back, The light again darken the darkness. The drugs took away the pain that I was having in the Liver which I guess had a big rule to boost my moral. I feel to smile and face this 3 months until the next stage with all the best energies to take this stage to a good port. The Life is a cycle and for now I am in upper cycle, I need to take advantage of it.
The day went slower, which I do enjoy as well. Sugars are again very very high due mainly to the steroids that I brought home and I will need to take it for more 5 days, The same steroids is not helping me to sleep, it is a thousand times more effective than the caffeine. Nevertheless, I had a generous night sleep given the circumstances, Before 6.00 AM I was already downstairs, fresh and happy. The treatment renew all my hopes, It is like if the cards were shuffled again and the game would restart, the next game hopefully will be better. AT least the pain that I was having in the Liver in the last 3 weeks, has released. If it is only psychological? I do not know. But the doctor said that this Yttrium tends not only to reduce the size of the tumour but also to release the pain, So I am welcoming the Yttrium.
Finally the next adventure arrived, the morning was interrupted by a call to turn another page in this marathon, The call said unknown in the screen, I new straight away even before I picked up, it was a call from the Hospital. For the first time in the last week I felt really happy for what will come. The nurse told me to present myself tomorrow in the Hospital at 11.00 AM, The day will be long. Firstly, they will check my blood to see how is the immune system, after I will have a drip allocated from the arm, in order to received an anti sickness injection, which I was told that will make me feel dizzy, so I should not be alarmed :) Afterwards, I will have injected something that goes all the way to the the kidneys, to protect them from the radiation. Only around 4.00 PM finally will come to action the Truth weapon, One of the rarest element in Earth, Our weapon of mass destruction - Yttrium 90 (Y). Soon after the injection I will have a nuclear scanning that will find if the molecules went to the right places, Which we will hope. All day and night I will stay in the Hospital, more for precautions, because of the radiation of love that I will be involved. All day without the contact of my princesses will be the hardest bit.
The bug catch Us again, Olivia has been with cough and sneeze and Justyna this afternoon fell on the bed with flu, however now both are looking better. In the afternoon me and Olivia left mother resting and we went out to Maria's birthday party. It was great to see Maria very happy in her new house refurbished, They really did a great job, the house looks beautiful. Also I was very happy to see many friends I have not been in touch with in the last year, I even cannot nominate them as they were so many.
In another attempt to bring up positive energies from the small things to fight the big things, today I did again a radical hair shortcut, almost nothing was left in the scalp. I am at the moment having a very delicious moments attached to the White Angel, it has been a while since last time I enjoyed so much to read, I guess the fact of the book being in Portuguese makes also the difference. After lunch I went for a coffee and spend some time with my friend Sergio, but in the way back I was alone at home and I made myself a king over the hamac, delicious hours reading, stopping to listen a bird sometimes and back to reading and again stooping just to look at the dancing of branches of the trees synchronized with wind, beautiful spectacle in front of my eyes.
Slowly Olivia is going through all the stages, firstly got used to the nursery routine now it is also the sleeping routine, She and Us are now sleeping much better. Since a week, Olivia is sleeping through the night without waking up, Before there was always an excuse, like a pee or a cuddle to wake us up in the middle of the night, but now she looks more consistent sleeping through. Time is the best friend.
Great afternoon in the garden with our friends Rob and Sandra, We had the second Teddy Bear's picnic of the season. It was fun to be outside, speaking and tasting the vegetarian meals from Justyna. The Teddy Bear's picnic was excuse to meet up again, and enjoy the company of each other. Oli made a great friends with the Teddy and the Bear who came with Rob and Sandra. The adults took the most of Olivia's present, watching the Babe Pig in full while Olivia has long asleep :)
I had a full day of Olivia, Justyna went again to visit Kasia, as now she is very close to deliver her small baby. Meanwhile, me had and Olivia did almost everything together, computering, reading, library, park, eating, puzzles, drawing and painting. To be honest I abused a bit of the cartons in the computer, those films are always the easiest way to entertain Olivia without too much spent of energies from myself. Probably because I being so close to her and dealing all the time with Olivia today, in the table, in the park, I found so many progress in her language skills, humour and in her reasoning. It is already the girl Olivia which impressed me with her draws and paintings, 100% made by Olivia, I was impressed :) 
The days and years are passing so fast, Olivia turned three years and arrived the time to Olivia pick up her treasure ark, full of books. She was very happy with the surprise.
It was the Day for the therapies, I did my Reiki, which was today very intense, An hour of intense concentration, It was great to listen in the end the therapist saying that she was doing sessions for long years but in this session she was for the first time able to see colours, Her visions was awash with by the Purple colour, Good sign :) I was also very relax and joyful afterwards.
I have got the feeling that the things are tending again to the normal, at least as much as it is possible. Normal here means to me not only Good but Great. I am definitely feeling more positive and with more energy, leaving often the heavy business out of my brain again, as I must do in order to breath and not be suffocated within the bad thoughts. Today I took out the old bicycle from the storage and I joined Olivia in a trip to the Park, she in her tricycle and me in the bicycle. Olivia in the Nursery it is not anymore an issue, She looks now settled. It was a big surprise for me the way in the end the Nursery was sort out. 
Olivia has her second day alone in the Nursery, To be honest we were not prepared to see her settling so quick, It is Justyna who is now finding harder to be so many hours away from Oli :) justyna needs to learn how to use more time to herself. I am very happy for Oli, I think this new step will be very good for her, She will find another World outside from home and only with her parents, A World more infant, with less problems, more happy, and waiting to be discovered. Justyna was telling me that she already finds Olivia more silly and childish, The way any child with 3 years old must be.
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