Black and white

More difficult than managed the headache, discomfort and anxiety I can see only how to managed the Expectations. If for one side I do not want to have too big expectations, Like for example for tomorrow's appointment with doctors I do not want to suffer again disappointments, so I keep my dreams never above the ground line, Because after all is deadly painful to hope one thing and been served with other. But for other side, worst than that is to not have any expectations, to not Dream, this would just mean resignation and giving up, and I know a lot of people which would be very upset with that. Again, I do not know where to turn, and to find different colours than the black and white .

This Friday I need to take a lot of breath in, as I will have two appointments in the Royal Free Hospital, the Oncologist which will serve me as a breakfast, the details and results of my last Monday's scan. After just keeping the air inside the Lungs while I will see other doctor, responsible for Neuroendocrines and probably the one who will follows my Radiotherapy. This days are much more fun when we are full of hopes and good energy, I cannot let those thoughts to leave me. All the help is needed.