Afraid of the scans

I know that I must get out from this crossroad, I cannot stand here in this roundabout much longer, I am too young to give up for my dreams, even if I am too old to lose myself in illusions. I become frozen in the Time, probably afraid of the future, I was thinking probably I am scare of been cured but no, the must likely is fright of the death. I have some ideas what to do, but I also know that they are only ideas or castles in the clouds, to find the way out I will need to be more brave. I will be only lucky if I go for it.

This days until 15th of December I cannot decide anything, my thoughts are all focus in the period of scans and appointments with Oncologist and with the surgeon that is approaching. I cannot avoid the nervous been building up inside me, Slightly the nights are more bright and the days more dark. I am looking for my sleep but it will not be easy to find it in the next following weeks. I suppose I am as much stress with the scans as a drug dealer that is trying to pass drugs inside the airport coming from Latina America or a Taliban infiltrating in the West.