Almost almost there

After a long break, there we go again to Dr Fusai hands, After a relaxed morning as much as it was possible, I felt always cramps in the stomach and a weak legs. This only became normal after I got inside the waiting room for the surgeon. There, I was very cool not thinking too much what comes ahead.

The waiting time was insignificant, Dr Fusai wanted to see me earlier than the time booked. After, all happen very quick, I do not know if I should be happy or unhappy, probably something in the middle, so I would say dishappy, a new word. In his words the Pancreas and Liver all look very good without any trace of Cancer, but but there is a new card to the deck, It was traced in the CT scan a very tiny lump 16 mm on the back of the stomach, it is definitely very small but has increased its size since last scanning. He emphasized, that I should not worry about that, it can be different things, scare tissue, but also can be some Neuroendocrine even if very unlikely to be Cancer, again is own words. We all need to be very positive and trust in his words.

I confess that inside the doctors room I was bit disappointed after listen that words, and after come out I wanted to cry, but after half hour I was again positive and strong. The next steps it will be to monitor the development of this lump and do more exams to understand what really is that hidden in the back of the stomach. Soon I will see again Dr Caplin who is the doctor responsible for the Neuroendocrines. And a new Ocreotide scanning is also in the list. They need to know what is it, to decide what to do, leave it, wait for its development or go ahead with an operation.

Regarding to minor things as the hard tummy I been feeling he told me to take some pills to help the Pancreas break down the fat and then probably release the gas from my tummy, But also for my back pain he said it is not related to any Cancer, I just need to see a physiotherapist.

After we went to the park and the I was more calm, There when I reached the top of the Hill in Hampstead park I thought to myself with a smile I been trying hard but I guess I will never live in the sky anymore, I am almost sure about that, but I am prepared to live where I ought to be.

This picture shows very well how close we are from something, as it says in the title of the blog.

Top of the world