Morning dressed up with a light smoothly white carpet to guide me to the Hospital, not a red carpet as it would be and I deserve :) But I forgive and to be honest it was even more beautiful also it was not anybodies fault, just the snow decided to come to say happy new year.
It was another stage in our attempt to corner the Cancer in the Liver before he would do to me. It was a long session, but my patience and moral has been boosted by the recent news, so I am felling more keen do live the time in the best way as possible meanwhile I am there in the suite, watching some easy movies and chatting with staff, also with other patients and full enjoying my massage. Even though there is a felling in the air of completely emptiness probably due to the vulnerability of the patients mind. The Present is the only verbal form allowed to a Cancer patient, The Future is out of the dreams, ridiculous to think in the long term future. The life is lived the way it should be always now. Because of that, somehow I can feel some security perhaps for avoiding the alarm with the worst perspectives, The worst can be only some time in the future. And that future can never happens, Like the life would frozen by a stroke of magic now on.
I have a very honest and pragmatic attitude, I am trying all the time to be realistic, Though the good words from doctors, but this ones never went further than pronouncing the word Encouraging, word used already by two different doctors. And I realistically know the distance between a word like encouraging results and effective scenery. Encouraging is a word that aims to lift up your confidence, working in the brain, what is good but you are not there yet.
To break the loneliness of the session my loves came to bring me a soup to the Hospital to warming me up and join the troops in march through my veins in the fight against the strange bodies. Olivia, of course is completely out of it is going on, and probably will never remind about all this events, I do not know if is this a shame or not for her. She found funny the drips, like if it was the same wires from computer she likes to bite when teething.
Today because of I started at 10.00, around 7.30 PM I was out of the Hospital, And even if very tired I was so happy, as I started now my holidays, gradually I will be focus only in the trip to Portugal, We are almost in the Iberia Lusitania. Justa even cooked for our dinner Bacalhau (Cod) with some Polish influences :) I found also Olivia must have a very strong Portuguese character, as she enjoyed so much the meal, We have a Portuguese girl on the table.
It was another stage in our attempt to corner the Cancer in the Liver before he would do to me. It was a long session, but my patience and moral has been boosted by the recent news, so I am felling more keen do live the time in the best way as possible meanwhile I am there in the suite, watching some easy movies and chatting with staff, also with other patients and full enjoying my massage. Even though there is a felling in the air of completely emptiness probably due to the vulnerability of the patients mind. The Present is the only verbal form allowed to a Cancer patient, The Future is out of the dreams, ridiculous to think in the long term future. The life is lived the way it should be always now. Because of that, somehow I can feel some security perhaps for avoiding the alarm with the worst perspectives, The worst can be only some time in the future. And that future can never happens, Like the life would frozen by a stroke of magic now on.
I have a very honest and pragmatic attitude, I am trying all the time to be realistic, Though the good words from doctors, but this ones never went further than pronouncing the word Encouraging, word used already by two different doctors. And I realistically know the distance between a word like encouraging results and effective scenery. Encouraging is a word that aims to lift up your confidence, working in the brain, what is good but you are not there yet.
To break the loneliness of the session my loves came to bring me a soup to the Hospital to warming me up and join the troops in march through my veins in the fight against the strange bodies. Olivia, of course is completely out of it is going on, and probably will never remind about all this events, I do not know if is this a shame or not for her. She found funny the drips, like if it was the same wires from computer she likes to bite when teething.
Today because of I started at 10.00, around 7.30 PM I was out of the Hospital, And even if very tired I was so happy, as I started now my holidays, gradually I will be focus only in the trip to Portugal, We are almost in the Iberia Lusitania. Justa even cooked for our dinner Bacalhau (Cod) with some Polish influences :) I found also Olivia must have a very strong Portuguese character, as she enjoyed so much the meal, We have a Portuguese girl on the table.
Adeus, time to payback to my bed.
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1 comment:
Olá Helder
Desejo-vos um feliz ano de 2009, continua com a boa disposição, espero ver-te em breve.
Um abraço
Quim
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