Desert crossing

My trip across the desert still on the way, But I hope around the weekend I could find the first Oasis, For now it is only and overall a lot of sleepiness and anxiety, My life is moving in the cadence of a strange protocol of chemicals diluting in the blood and evading all the body. It is the memory that is now laying down, do not doing any useless effort and the body that asks and his only please when is not forced to move out from the bed or sofa.

But I am trying to not satisfy all this favours all the time, thus, in the morning I went with Olivia to the Park and in the evening I went shopping to the Sainsbury's. The last trip to the supermarket it was unexpected very pleasant, the cashier was a lovely Man, so kind and sounded a True Man.

Olivia's luggage

Today it come down the tiredness and the bleeps in my ears to balance the fact of the burbs and hiccups did not show up yet. In the end of the morning I forced myself to go out from home and I went out with my princesses aiming just to take some fresh air and to take Olivia to the Park. It was good as also Olivia took advantage to buy her first travel luggage already thinking about Poland. But in the middle of the walk I was desperate already to come back home, After just lunch and bed, I had a lovely nap in the afternoon. In the evening we had the visit of our friends Shubhy, Tom and Tazz, Olivia and us have a great end of the day, and now she is already in the arms of the Morpheus.

Starters on the table

It is ridiculous but at the moment I am having around 11 pills through each day, It is like the water life cycle, But here is the big drug companies that are doing the bigger profit out of this, it make me think if we are not in the presence of CARTEL, I will try to explain, One day I am taking the Chemotherapy which is made off three main drugs, but in order to the other companies could also take their bit from the budget, this drugs are suppose to arise a lot of collateral effects, and it is here where another cascade and chain starts. So in the day after I will have in the morning 4 pills, all anti sickness, some will work in the brain giving him the wrong message and confound him, actually it tells him that symptoms that we may feel it is not sickness. But some other ones helps to stop the stomach flows back the liquids, doing a kind of barrier, what past in not coming back out. But the body is also clever and he is not happy with this tricks, then another conflict starts in the stomach, is the burbs and hiccups that starts and never stops, but of course the pharmacies are always in the track and they gave me another pill to create a moister in the stomach which reliefs the gases there. But the other bottom extremity also asks for help to deal with constipation and diarrhea's, Then another miraculous pill I have to help the bowel muscles work better and opens the doors for the last escape.

Meanwhile there is no day I cannot live without antibiotic to avoid infections plus a cream to deal with some opportunistic rashes. And in the top of the cake are the diabetes that together with all the steroids needs a massive dose of daily insulin.

You will tell there he is this gay again with his flashes about conspiration theories, I will not argue about that, but I still have in my deep thoughts if we are not witnessing the same has in the computaring new World, Where often are the same software companies that firstly creates and spreads the virus and bugs aiming to sell the antivirus afterwards. In fact I am already a slave of this Industry, I need their bread to survive without any doubts. I would consider myself a big shareholder of the Industry.

With myself I am feeling OK so far, only the sleepless but at least I can relax, and today we have a visit of our lovely friend Rob, it was really a pleasant evening with a good chat.

Chemotherapy-session 8

Today it was a long journey, Started at 8.30 AM in the tube on the way to the Hospital, There I saw all the white statues that never speaks and neither glance any look for each other, More mechanical that this fellows only the noise that comes from the engines of the Tube, I was wandering if it was a pact of silence orchestrated against me to make me crazy. The day was again freezing and snowing, what made me fell happy because at least soon I would be in the solarium for my tanning session. Even there I could have a massage to my feet and legs, only embarrassing was my Eagle nails.

Finally 12 hours after, 8.30 PM I was back home, very exhausted but at same time feeling safe.

Mattar Paneer

I am almost ready to go for another chemotherapy, I have a CD the Planet Earth, from David Attenborough that Shubhy offered me, and will help me to past the time, I have a book from the Polish author Gombrowicz that Justyna offered me, also I will bring a sketch book and finally but my best friend a big meal to take with me. I went to picked up the Matta Paneer that Veena cooked special for me, This is definitely my preferred meal ever, and it must be the only thing that my stomach and mind tolerates tomorrow, When I am in the session normally I cannot see food or even smell it but this fantastic Indian meal is the exception, So I could do thousands of km's to have my Mattar Paneer. Thank you Veena for the delicious meal.

Missing Summer

I found the most distracting exercise just painting landscapes which implies me the Summer, the liveliness, or everything but the resignation and boredom. I always will love the beach, or just the Mediterranean spirit, probably the fact that I born there has a big influence on that. This also happens when I am totally fed up with the long winter, The Sun keeps playing peekaboo and I cannot stand it anymore. Thus, Carvoeiro beach kept my thoughts and memories about the South very present.

Potty training

So the blood test looked fine, and the doctor Tim Myer gave me the green light for the next chemo session, already this Monday, The values for the Liver and Kidneys function were enough satisfactory to carry on, Regarding to the scans that I did a month ago he said that they confirm the two neuroendocrines but from the Gallium scan they cannot see the exactly size of the tumours, then I come out without knowing if those Cancer has grown up or been stable. I only will find out in 8 weeks when I will do the next PET scan. Afterwards, without news what always means good news, but also if there was news probably wont mean either good news, we went for our already traditional Sushi meal in the lunch, All the family loves that Japanese food and moreover we like the tradition even if it is not what use to be.

Meanwhile, Olivia even if it still faraway from doing her physiological needs in the potty, nevertheless she is accumulating all the information from the books, Thus, she knows already all the theory, proving that all the evolution either from the Apes or from the Human being it is always the theory that precedes the practice .