Not alone

The day was spent almost totally in our home, means in the Royal Free Hospital. Firstly, to see the nurse of diabetes, which it was great, she gave us a lot of tips that can help us to avoid to have such a high sugars, and also now I will be again under surveillance of the Hospital rather than the GP, which is a good thing. But after we were in the hurry as the alarm was ringing for us to be in the Chemotherapy suite, three floors up. We were there just on time, but unfortunately we would need to wait for more 4 hours to have the medicines ready to bring it home. Problems in the pharmacy and with the doses that the oncologist needed to confirm made us stay so long inside the chemotherapy ward. Olivia wanted to be with me, but I was not happy because I think she should not be exposed to all the heavy environment that any of us even adults would find there. I was almost crying and sensitize with the love and care of my princesses, that never let me alone. This is and always will be a job for all our THREE. The drugs that been prescribed for the chemotherapy are to be taken at home this time not in the Hospital. Then, for 14 days I will know very well the effects of Capecitabine, after 10 days I will added to the long cocktail the other very strong drug the Temozolomide.

Anyway, out of the Hospital I could not forget my promise to Oli and we went to the Park to Olivia could enjoy few deserved happy moments. I feel that I am in debit with Olivia with laugh and good moments. I told Justyna today, the first time a Funfair will come around we will spend all the afternoon there, Another promise.

Of course the most important thing that I wanted to tell you today is the fact that Olivia is with 100% sure a Princess, the test of the pea show the Truth. As in the book of the Princess and the pea, Olivia had a horrible night, non of us had sleep well tonight, after I had set up a pea under her mattress.

OK friends it has been a very long day, and just 45minutes ago I had my first battery of pills, it is now time for bed and search for the good dreams, there everything is possible.

Princess or not?

I am trying to keep myself as busy as possible, at least to not remember about the things that I am not missing and I will need to taste again, such as the bad taste, the drowsiness and tiredness from the drugs of the chemotherapy. I really do not understand why they keep calling this products drugs, For me in my experience, I call drugs when those brings addition and high, but in this drugs that I will have tomorrow there is no good thing or whatsoever in the brain. Also to bee busy nothing better than to go to Camden, and then we all went there. Olivia feels almost at home walking through the streets, here assessing the fashion, there commenting hairstyles, She is definitely already an open mind.

Tonight, I did a deal with her, based in the story that she loves, I put one pea under her mattress to check if Olivia is a real princess. To be honest I hope the test will come negative, otherwise we all will have a bad night sleep.

Charging batteries

Away from the Hospital, this Saturday has been a much more calm day, Finally I rested few hours in the night and plus some relaxing time in the afternoon, also my asthma problems gave me a rest, I did not have problems with breath this night, and lastly the sugars, I had increased the amount of insulin which showed already a positive result. I need to keep all this under control, as after tomorrow I will have already a battery of chemotherapy that will not help to control or heal whatever needs.

This morning Olivia took us and Bartek to the library to show her second home, It was the they of fathers. Everybody enjoyed the hour.

Black rabbit

The year of the rabbit could have started better, I still hope the Rabbit will bring me something better until the end of its kingdom. You already guessed why is this introduction, it is true, The oncologist let me again with bad news in the arms. Justyna was very disappointed as Olivia, She was in my arms and very sad all the time. The last scan showed the Cancer in the Liver progressed significantly, even if the other lymphoid in the abdomen has decreased, This means that I cannot wait indefinitely for the approval of the radiotherapy. It is necessary action to not lose all the precious time, Then this Monday I will be back to the chemotherapy holidays. I even signed the consent form before I read it. I found funny the rhetoric question from the doctor if I want to go ahead with the chemotherapy. Of course I said: I wanted to do already today, but this was not possible only because they did not have the drugs available.

The news (more the bad ones) are now a routine for me, but what is making me more sad is to see Olivia understanding all this what we are going through, And Justyna today was believing so much in better news. Now, I have the weekend to try to get a lot of rest, and I hope some laugh with a friends of Justyna from Poland that arrived today.

The Concorde

The night is longer than ever, It is Olivia which often in the middle of the night breaks my process of failing asleep just when I am almost sleeping, I always had this feature of needing a long time to fail asleep, like the former Concorde needed a longer runway to take off. But it is not only that, it is also the sugars, In the last weeks I have too often hypoglycemia during the night. In that way I can stay hours in bed as vegetable, not knowing what is going on, and then do not take any initiative to finish the low sugar levels. Today I spoke with the nurse from the diabetes in the Royal Free Hospital, hopefully we will meet soon to discuss how to sort out this problem that keeps not turning my nights dark as should be. I was today very tired in the Art class, Nevertheless I enjoyed very much.

Tomorrow the airport of destiny is the Royal Free, and there, I will know if I should fly straight to the Radiotherapy or I should do a scale for Chemotherapy before, this depending from the scan of luggage in check in zone. Though, we all are waiting for a very smoothly landing.

Noah's ark

It was very worth the session of reiki today, The therapist always spends almost an hour around me, and today's was one of those, when I left I felt my body weighting half of its real weight. Afterwards, it was great to walk home full of good energy and just concentrating in good thoughts.

I still came home on time to take Olivia to the picnic in the library with other kids, later Olivia surprised me positively, by inviting for a first time a friend to her home. Olivia and Noah were shopping, played with toys and even had a meal together. So the date went so well that we all are looking forward for next meeting. Although all this, Olivia still wanted to go to the park when outside was already dark, but we went just to say hello to the squirrels and came back.

After this intense day I had my recharging time with a juicy bomb of celery, cabbage, cucumber, lemon, carrot and ginger.

Wait is necessary

The session of pictures is done, now Friday we will collect the results from the Oncologist, The technician was great when in the end he told me that I could go home, We have a lovely pictures here, in his words :) Of course those words does not mean anything but brought a smile to my face, I really appreciated the joke. But for sure with the intoxication of fruits and veges that I am going through the results must be very good.

The day past but left a heavy print in my mind, I have been tired and hollow, The fault is also from the diabetes and hormones, Always the hormones, nowadays I do understand the women so well. The best point of the day was a bath with fizzy soap that I offered myself and Olivia was invited.