Dreaming in silence

This days only helps me to confirmed what a Cancer can do, It is able to fill up all our day, our thoughts, our movements, I can say that sometimes the Day is not split in day and night, but instead in Cancer and in cancer.

Today was one of those, that my routine was broken by an appointment in the Hospital, Before I loved to go to the hospital, wanted to know news but nowadays I prefer the calm and tranquility of home and a routine than the distress, nervous, smell and anxiety that are around in the corridors of the Hospital. I went to see the surgeon again after half a year. Surprisingly, for me his speech has changed slightly today from the others before. He said that he needs more information to take a decision. But I did not know what he was talking about, But he explained that he wants to see me gain in a month after my next CT scan in the end of September, Then he will talk with the oncologist and see the evolution of the tumour and study any chance to operate. Of course all this is new and good, but I need to keep calm and just do my bit. The things will not be easy because the doctor also mentioned that in my case if I would ask to 10 doctors, 9 will tell me that will not be any operation, Also does not help the fact of I have been already 2 times in his scissors hands and this is not a piece of cake according to him. I have three nodules, two in the Liver and another one in the abdomen, and it is the last one which is around the blood vessels which makes according to the doctor more difficult to get there.

But let us dream in silence, without too much noise.

Academic season

Olivia went with me to enroll in a nursery, but only to start in the next year, She was sad as she wanted to start straight way and join the kids in the playground in the same moment, My only alternative to calm her was to divert the way to the library, where she would found a story about herself.

It was a nightmare for me to walk around given the big pain that I have been feeling in my feet again. Thus, today I was defected by the side effects, then finally I did decreased the dose to see if the side effects stops a bit to see if I could have some quality of life back.

Tomorrow I will see again the surgeon after almost half year, should be a regular appointment, just to check if I am still alive :)

Claustrophobic

Sometimes it is good days like that, Dark outside so plenty of excuses to do not leave our nest. But, after a while the space looked even more small, as Justyna is trying to get out from us, closed in her studies room. She is only focus on her studies and only seeing the computer.

Master in the piano

The afternoon we escaped to Shubhy's house, also to give some free time to Justyna carry on with her TMA. It was a very nice time, we were really missing the noons/evenings with all the family, Shubhy, Tom, Ryan and Tazz. It was good to see Ryan more relaxed, passed his time of examinations, He now can focus more in his true love, the music. His compositions showed a very mature and promising musician.

Suppositoring

Justyna's TMA is progressing, while Olivia and myself are going around London, Today in the morning we went to see the doctor because of a small pain that Olivia has when she piss and myself to collect some medicines, Back home we needed to go to the church to speak with the priest, Luckily he was there, busy with the preparations for the visit of Pope Benedict XVI to UK. He was very nice, interrupted his work to help me, I needed his signature in the application for a nursery for Olivia, It was necessary because this is a Cristian school. Before shopping we still past few good moments in the park with other kids. I am full of tiredness but also of joy.

Today I had a great tip from my cousin Carla, regarding how to suppositoring, I did not know but it looks that the part of the suppositories that should go first is the square one and not the beaked one, as I told, this is essentially because of laws of physics, the way how the intestines works. This is trivial for some of you but can help some others in the future.

Good neighbourhood

First thing to do before any moving is to recognised the area and to get in contact with the neighbours, For now, we have already two good neighbours that we offered some carrots. Next time will come the tea. They were quite smelling and sometimes bit impulsive, it is true, but they open the house and were very friendly. At the moment it is me and Olivia who is doing this business, Mother is reading and also already organizing and packing. In the garden she is taking with us what can flourish in our new garden.

The feet is stable but it is always soaked in a cream to not let it dry, and down, in the end of the course of the food, the bleeding is less often, for that it has been important the dose of suppositories that I am having every day before going to toilet. The act of introducing the medicine it is painful, I think, but somebody was telling to me that sometimes the changing of the sexual orientation could start from less than that.

Fruit on the table

The park was today overcrowded park, so many kids as I never seen, for that was not indifferent the fact of the lovely sunny day and the last days of holidays for kids. By the way today I went for the first time to pick up a application to enroll Olivia in the Nursery, This to start in the next year.

Here we are trying to have the most healthy diet as possible, with a lot of fruit and with less meat as possible. Although this is a arguable point, because I always eaten so much fruit through my life and I am nowadays not the finest example of the health.

Today I also would like to wish the best luck and surgery for my friend Henrique from the Georgio who will have tomorrow another stabbing, he is my college in this paths of the Liver. I am sure all will be alright.