Wait, when necessary

Ola,

There we are, in the eve of another session, that can take me to the doors of the operation, but I am trying to take one day at a time, otherwise all looks so long. Today I am been feeling very tired, but I promise tomorrow I will wake up with all my energies recharged and ready to take it easy the 10 hours session. So, I am planning to have an early night sleep.

Until tomorrow

Polish angels

A long day we had left behind, At afternoon we went to an already traditional Christmas lunch in Maria's' house, divine Paellas and other sort of food on the table. And of course so many sweaty sweets tempting me and I am sorry I could not resist to pick up some from the Justynas' plate. But of course the occasion was great to review a lot of friends that we have not seen for a long time, Funny that I enjoy very much to have people and friends around nevertheless I do not feel keen on to too much interact and have an active participation in the chats, nowadays I prefer to listen or just be there. Overall in the last couple of days I have been feeling very sad, that ended up in the night with a depression taking part of brain, something that I could not avoid. Is difficult to explain why, fortunately as I said to Justyna, it is not due to any pain, because have been feeling pretty good, I think it is just about the pressure that I am start to go through with another unpleasant chemotherapy session on the way, determinants scanning on the sight and of course the sacred word from the surgeon almost to be known. But, also to the sorry that I am committed to live probably forever regarding to the people that had and been suffering with Cancer. Some examples that I get know in my way I cannot turn my back or pretending that it is not my problem. I feel the Cancer and people fighting against must be part always of my thoughts.

Anyway, I must understand that fact does not mean that I cannot become happy again. I still do not know how I will do it, probably Olywka will teach me.

But for now I just want to cry and I cannot do anything against that, At least what make more calm is to know that to fell more comfortable I just need to go to the bedroom and look for my angels sleeping.

Good night sleep

Hospital's view

Ola,

Back again this morning to the normal check ups before the next chemotherapy session, Apparently the blood tests gave again green light for Monday's session. In the appointment today with Dr Tim Meyer which was sided by two other oncologist, they made me feeling almost as a case study, they siege me with questions about side effects, they were surprise by the low side effects after my sessions, already long, so far three cycles of chemotherapy. He also examined my tummy, around Liver and Pancreas, and all look smooth and normal. So, now we hope the scanning booked for 17 of December showed that my Liver has had been less tolerating for the drugs than myself as human being (expect Liver)

Before I had my weight weighted and incredible! I put on weight a fantastic 200g, I am now with 63 Kg. I think this week Olywka gain more grams than me :( But at least the weight increased

Afterwards we went to our new flat, it was great to see my new nest, It is a place that need some new decoration, but it has already its own sole. Boring to go to the bureaucratic things, agreeing with a lady that did all the inventory of the house, look for all small details. At the same time deal with George, a nice gentleman who is responsible for all the maintenance of the house. We hope to have some stuff repaired next week, as some walls repainted to deleted the time past by. Nevertheless we decided to not sleep there because it was freezing inside, the heaters did not warm enough to guaranty a good first night in our place.

Thus, we decide to have another gypsy experience and we went for a couple of days to Shuby's house, until they repair this few things.

great weekend

Larger family

Ola,

The life of my family it looks more as a Gypsy family because of our nomadic nature, with all the respect and honour for the Romany community. Today it had another chapter, we went back for our house, or better Rob and Sandras' house. It was great also to smell our house and see our friends again. But, for short time, as tomorrow we might start to move to the new accommodation.

This week I took it as a holidays, such was the relaxing time and great to see sister and family. Anyway, they left this morning, Shuby and Thom took them to the airport. And our life here in London is just about also to take off to other dimension. Thus, tomorrow I will see the Oncologist to discuss if I am well to be submitted to another chemotherapy cycle already this Monday, Meanwhile this weekend we will move to our new and permanent place.

I hope next week I will be already settled in my new bedroom to take smoothly the side effects, essentially the tiredness. And after all friends are welcome to visit us, there will be a spare bed awaiting for you.

Kisses

Ruled by a dog, why not

Well, and today it will come to the end the staying of my sister, Paulo and the magnificent Dani, It was an indescribable week, with so much time for our self and at the same time see Dani and Oly together it was another dream that came through. Hopefully we will get more moments like that in the future. Helping to the harmony of this weekend it was the fact to see my sister after almost an year and to view Daniel for the first time, but also the big reason for our comfort was the atmosphere that we found in Shuby's house and the care from all her family, from Thomas, Rayan to Taz, the lovely dog. Taz was a dog abandoned that was rescued by Shuby when he was five years old, luckily Taze in spite of the sadness in its life at least now is a very happy dog that is loved by its owners, but we can feel that because of all the troubles he had it is hard to get is total confidence, Firstly he studies each person and only after opens its heart. He is a superior example of the magnanimity Canine, As Mario de Miranda states to err is human to forgive is canine.

In this way we spent all day at home with all the pleasure, surrounded by kids and love, what else we could desire? I cannot think about any other thing. The warmth indoors balanced the freezing outdoors

Also in the evening I had the visit from a friend I have not seen for a few years, Luis Ganhao, it was lovely from him to came and then know more about how he is and other friends back in Portugal, that I lost track. Thank you for your support friend.

Cousins

Ola,

Today, we had an appointment with the surgeon that has been booked quite a long time ago, when I started the chemotherapy. And in that time we thought today I would have been already scanned and it could be decided today if I can go straight away to the operation in the Liver or not, But the things has been delayed and I still have another chemo cycle this Monday and the important CT scanning will happen only at 17 th of December. Even though the appointment with Mr Fusai it went more positive than we expected, as when I got in his room I thought I will come without nothing because there was nothing to discuss, but in the end the doctor booked me already for an octreotide scanning, the one that is carry out in the Nuclear department and shows all the infections made by the Neurodocrine. Thus, next time when I will see Mr Fusai in 23rd of December He will have all the information in his hands to decide the next stage. What made us, special Justyna very happy with this appointment it was the fact that he mentioned again that he was astonished with my remarkable recovery from the first surgery and with the way I presented without any mark of the chemotherapy in my face or body. additionally he mentioned several times about a very likely operation in the end of this process. So, lets keep fingers cross and wait for Christmas eve eve day.

Afterwards we went back to a coffee shop where my sister was waiting for us and together we went back to Shuby's house, In the way I was just relaxing and enjoy all the good thoughts, and the arrive at house brought even more happiness with the good atmosphere that we can feel inside the Shubys house. The dinner it was again a magical moment, Shubys prepared a fantastic Indian food. Veena also come to join us and enlarge the family around the table :) For dessert Thomas introduced me to something that I never seen and heard, the Chocolate sugar free, Cho for a diabetic. I was so glad. The time just flew with a chat in between friends and overall with the communication that we tried to have with Olywka and with Daniel.

Kisses

Talented friend

Hello,

Great to woke up this morning with such a sun shine, a light that I have not seen for a weeks, for that also helped the late hours that I woke up. After, there was only time for a quick breakfast and lunch and straight get on the way to the Royal Free Hospital. The doctors came out with the conclusion that I am not allergic to any of the substances tested, this means that the big suspicious still the penicillin for my allergy at the time of the operation, The next step is to test my body to this drug.

Evening we had a great dinner with all the family and the night reserved a unique moment when me, Justyna and baby were laying down in the bed and just enjoy a dream moment of Rayne playing in the keyboards. Olywka was just astonished as us with his masterpieces composed by him. Not often we can see such a talent in a lovely and friendly boy.

Bye