Guinea Pig

Friday again took us to the Royal Free Hospital to see the oncology team, This appointments I see more like a routine, faraway are the days when I was going to the doctor very nervous and distress to know the latest news, Now everything is calmer, even if it does not mean good. Nevertheless, the scenery is not totally dark. The doctor told me that they been discussed again about me, and they want me to do another scan, because the last one was not conclusive, there is some confusion about the results. Then, when I would come from Holidays I will do the scan and will see the doctors straight away to know the next step.

Yes, I have not mentioned yet but next week, Tuesday we will be off, on the way to Holland. We will go to visit our friends Carla and Luis and their recently extended family. Will be good for me to change environment, to Olivia to play with Francisco and Rodrigo and to Justyna to take also fresh air.

Justyna is now working hard to complete her new essay, With the studies about child development that Justyna is undertaken, of course all theories about the child are very present in her brain and in her action towards Olivia, I can compare what is going on with what happened with Piaget. He took inspiration in his child to develop some of his theories. I use to say that Olivia is growing up according to a scientific education :)

Today I had the lesson, that I never should categorize her, for example not call her naughty, because baby tend to see herself in the reflex of our perception. I hope that Justyna will not go a step further and would not use also Oli as a guinea pig in order to proof her ideas :)

Inside the routine

The days are going slowly, the routine never breaks up, The day goes on and copies all the other precedent ones. Everyday I feel a endless dejavu. I am happy with this and without contradiction sometimes I really have the sensation of full happiness, nevertheless in all that moments there is always a shadow, like an emptiness feeling that covers even the best moments, After a laugh or joy I know that I will experience that strange feeling of loneliness. And it is in this semidarkness that I am trying to be happy. It is funny that is now, at this moment of my life where I am almost trapped that I am worried to be happy when it was a state of soul that was strange for me before.

Olivia is more and more independent, when in the Rhymes sessions she does like to stay in her one chair instead on my lap, In the park she wants to play in all the equipments alone, I cannot touch, I guess soon she will be in the debutant ball. She and her friends.

In the same train

Wherever one of us goes the other ones will follow, it has been that our philosophy. Our team been always together has been helping to deal with all adversities. Today we decided to celebrate the starting of the Summer and we went to Camden to do some shopping but overall to enjoy just to be outside mixed with all the colours and smells that we find in Camden. Olivia surprisingly is showing not the biggest fan of Pierogi neither of Bacalhau but instead she just loves noodles. When in the table she sucks the noodle until no more.

In the evening to smell the perfume of Portugal I went with Mike to a pub to watch the Inter of Mourinho win another challenge. In this days with a lot of doubts and clouds over Portugal it is refreshing just see something positive with the national colours. I think this is already the emigration spirit in my heart :)

Neighbor horse

As the days are getting more colourful as we are more keen to spend time outside, Today we decided to explore another green area near our home, After lunch we all went tracking in the countryside. It was a wonderful walk through the park, it was very green and we could get in contact with some lovely horses that were doing the same as us, enjoying the Sun shine and some of them very hedonistic taking advantage of the chance to enjoy the nudism in the field without any complex.

In the time to sleep it was magic to show the full moon to Olivia and just share that moments of silence between we and the Moon. She went to sleep like in a dream. I am sure she will have a happy sleep somewhere in the Cosmos.

Praise of the difference

Justyna is back again to her studies and now it is me and Olivia who walks around Barnet, Morning Olivia went to sing in the rhyme time in the play centre, after we past is the park where she always meets some friends, Sometimes Ronald, sometimes Sophi, and also everyday there is another new friend. What is the thing that makes me happy is the chance that she has to do friends from all the backgrounds, something that I could not do it in Portugal because the colours where always pale. Here in London the difference is the normality. I think this is something that will enrich Olivia's personality.

Power of the language

It is starting to be hard work for me to understand sometimes Olivia, Not always she is generous with me and speaks with me in Portuguese, sometimes she likes to test me and speaks instead in Polish, and then it is me who is the child in the another child hands. Early she is in the command of the relation with her parents, because as you know communication is also Power. So my Life is now dependent of the machination of this sweet small Human Being.

Big entertainer

Another good day, I am again in a good cycle, relaxed and positive. In this way I can real take advantage what a day life can give, from the small thing to the biggest small thing, Olivia.

She has now another tool for her garden, a small car offered by Sergio to help her in the busy life in the garden as well as in the park, even sometimes she is using to transport herself of course with the help of the slaves. In the evening we went to Shubhys house, and Olivia offered us an exhibition of her skills as an entertainer, Something that would fill her Poor Clown's father of jealous.

Our garden is now transformed in a posh pure Mediterranean villa :), with swimming pool as well as clothes drying outside,

April special

I do not know why, if it is coincidence or something special about April, because some of our best friends are having their anniversaries in this month. Today our lovely friend Ryan has his birthday and of course we must be there, close to him and the family. It was a good time for all of us, just relax and having a good time.

Abertura da Epoca Balnear

It has now open the Swimming season here, even before than the Epoca Balnear would start in Portugal, Olivia only wants to stay in her spot in front of the Sun in the company of the sand. She does not listen me anymore when I call her to eat or to go out. Only when she became exhausted she had eaten some food but of course to return later on to the beach.

Throughout this days I am feeling again better, not only physically but also psychologically, I am not so down and the bad thoughts are now hidden and resting as well.

Olivia's Kingdom

The Queen Elizabeth II has one more reason to be proud as her anniversary coincide with the Princess Olivia, just with the difference that the first one is almost finishing her regency and the other one is getting ready to get the throne.

Here her vassals and slaves tried to give her a very happy day, All perfect for the majesty, In the morning she woke up and was surprised with all the palace adorned with balloons and she had found her first gifts of day. But after we went all day to the Zoo, She and us had a very nice time in the park. It is not the perfect place to see the animals and I hope they will forgiveness for that.

But the best it was the evening in between our similar, the rational animals, It was a marvelous evening, Olivia was so happy to see all the friends singing the Happy Birthday. I think she had one of her best days. Perfect day for all of us and I hope all our great friends also had a very good time.

Cold ice cream

Very busy days around, Olivia tomorrow is getting her second anniversary and we would like to give her a special day as last year I was in the Hospital. We are planning to go to the Zoo during the day. Justyna is also preparing some snacks and meanwhile she still needs to finish her school work this night :(

During the day I decided to have an ice cream with Olivia, but Olivia did not like the texture and the temperature of the Ice Creams, too cold she said, probably she would prefer a Hot ice cream. In the end it was me and mummy who ate the Ice creams, so upsetting.

Today was a special day, Olivia's God mother Sofia did her Birthday, Happy Birthday Sofia. Good news is also the fact that soon I will have her visit and the other girl friends, I cannot wait.

small incidents

I had a big scare in the morning when I woke up with a huge pain in my back. Even Olivia was frightened with my screams, but surprisingly and smoothly the pain went away. I think it is all related with the nervous system in the spine. Now I just need to forget and carry on.

Today we reserved the day to Justyna finished her work for her course, all looked going well, she had finished and had reviewed with Shubhy, but after something went wrong, the work was not saved in the computer, It was very upsetting but it is not the end of the World. If they will not rescue the work tomorrow they will have it few more days to complete.

Ballroom

The days are passing in our calm Barnet, We have the church in a short distance, just waiting for the first chimes of the church bells and we will be there before the last ones, The park smiles to Olivia straight after her first cry, The library open a book whenever we pass by. And there is a bandstand that Olivia adopted for her ballroom. But, it is our garden that is the star, there we and Olivia are finding our private World that will be with me forever. This park is also to our friends that sometimes come to visit us and today we had Sergio and also Shubhy and Tom.

Stop to think

We had started on the best way our day, having the visit of our friends Shubhy and Tom we went to the market in front of us to buy the daily bread and other nice food for our breakfast, After it was just relaxed in the garden and enjoy the Sun shining and of course the company. It has not been a discomfort pain and digest problems I felt during the day I would feel even more free. Nevertheless, gone to the Buddhist monastery this evening helped me to put my thoughts together.

This days we were shacked again with a horrible news about another Earthquake, now in China, It is hard to find myself already use to this events and going to bed and do not remember about the people who died, about the dreams that will not be dreamt anymore, about the suffering, and about what is to lose somebody that we love.

Walking in the Park

In this country we cannot forget about the days going by, Even if does not look so much in the last days we are already in the Spring. So, to do not be let down and do not go one day out and realise that the Spring and Summer is already off we decided today to go for a walk in the nearest Park. It was lovely the way, listening all the birds and see the bloom of the flowers.

Normally a walk like that would mean to have Olivia sleeping when back home, but nowadays it means only me having a nice nap in my bed.