Disgrace

It is already tomorrow the next chemotherapy session, Today as the last days were always in the shadow of tomorrow, Even if I am trying to not but I always feel more distress and down this days. The weekend just pass in a speed of eye blink. I just read and went for a walk with Olivia. In the evening me and Oli went to Shuby's house to have a dinner with Shuby and Tom, It was good to relax and also to mummy have more time at home to her studies. But we did not forget about her, because we brought a meal for her.

Now I am only organizing my bag to take with me tomorrow, Principal to not forget is two DVD of the Planet Earth, In the last session it was this what entertained me mostly, The beautiful images and the path of the animals are ideal for those boring hours. The book that I am reading at the moment I think is not the best to take with me, The Disgrace from J.M.Coetzee is too sad and shows too brutally the bad side of the Human Being, Like if there was not any escape for Us. So I think I will leave it at home:)

Wild Nature

Today we saw our friends Aga and Honza going back to Poland, It was short but very enjoyable their visit, I hope also they have enjoyed.
At the moment, I just cannot take my mind out of all the natural accidents that keeps happen with such a frequency, Hopefully better days will come for a lot of people that are suffering so much, either lost their houses or their loved ones. In the last week I can recall Haiti, Madeira and now Chile.

Mind the gap

For now I am ready and fit enough to face another chemotherapy session this Monday, I had some complains about a pain or colic that I have sometimes in the Liver, about that the doctor could not tell too much, all will be answered in the CT scan that I should have it in 4 weeks time. To be honest this appointments like today when there is not any big event to be discussed, like a scan to be known, any decision to be taken either operation or chemotherapy, I take it as a walk in the red carpet or a day off that I can enjoy out with family and topping the cake with cherry having a lunch out. It is so good to not have the stress of the big days. I know those days will come soon, so let me take advantage of this small days.

I did not photographed but me and Justyna witnessed by our own eyes the first Crocus flower of the year what made us very happy, it means the Spring must be around the corner. I believe in that against all the appearances.

Ups and Downs

Today we went with our guests to Camden to have a taste of old times and feel the vibration of the city, it was good to feel that the city pulses as it happen with me, as well. Remind me that I am not the only person in the World with problems as well as with ambitions and a lot of live. Happiness to spread and benefit. This days the Cancer looks so much only as a very faraway dream, something that never will affect me, meaning that will not beat me. I believe it is there in the mind where I can win this battle, not meaning beat the Sr. Cancer in itself but most important be happy during the time I will be Here, I am sure this is the most important and what infuriates mostly that Sir. Regarding to that game tomorrow I will see again the oncologist in the preparation for another chemotherapy session next Monday.

Passing to a different game, finally I went out to watch a good performance of my Sporting Lisbon, It is true I do not have a memory of going out and watch Sporting win, This was only a shame for my friend John who supports Everton.

Gulliver in Lilliput

Today I needed to adapt to the small World of the Lilliputians, In the Child Centre all are made to fit this small creatures, The kitchens, the tables, sofas and even the toilets are small size. There anybody over a metre will feel as a giant. But in my case not only a giant but a king, because I am a father among mums. This fact reminds me in some way how lucky I am, I should be the only father who can follow all the time his daughter.

Tomorrow I will be with one eye to see what will happen in Portugal, the second leg between Sporting and Everton is already tomorrow.

Czech horse

Today I decided to have a quiet day at home, Woke up late, nice food on the table, and just painting. Also good to have this week the visit of our Polish-Czech friends, Aga & Honza. Justyna now can be update with all the news from Krakow and about her common friends. It was a great surprise the videos from Krtkova Dobrodruzstvi that they brought to Olivia, in fact I also love it, And it is line with the best tradition of Czech animation. I embraced a task to paint the Horse above that has been a friend of Aga, It will be a big responsibility.

DIY

Even with a decrepit memory nevertheless, with what is remaining I do not remember a winter like this, everyday we having the taste of the snow, the temperatures still just above the Zero line, we are all slaves of the jackets and coats, Our hands still cuffed by the gloves and the neck constantly threatened to be hanged by the scarf. Well, the days still too short to do anything than wandering around. Today me and Olivia finally got right the Play day in the Child centre. It was all fun, and at the same time Justyna could get few hours free for her studies.

But the challenge of the day was a shelving task that I started in the store room, The first shelf is done what released more space to store our things, will come more in the next days.

Pancakes day

We could not let the Pancake day pass without celebrating it, The day to eat pancakes and all that sweaty stuff was last Tuesday, when started the Lent, but we postponed the Pancakes day for today, We put together different celebrations, The Pancakes day, Kasha's Name day and Rafi's birthday. Then the result was a very busy afternoon, busy with cooking and our belly's full of pancakes with all the syrups and tasts that you can imagine.

In the morning Me and Olivia found Justyna hidden in the Costa cafe studying, But Olivia with her clinic eyes catch the mum's movement inside the cafe, So then we all had our drinks, Olivia is already addicted with babyccino. Meanwhile Sergio left our home today and his moving now to Luton.

Cavalos de corrida

Today was a day taken by this beautiful animal, the horses, This is also probably the animal that should be the most used and killed to serve the egoistic interests of the Human Being. How many have dyed in the Wars or just in criminal hands, working endless. Justyna was out all day for her tutorial and me and Shubahda went for a stable to entertain and give a lovely day to Olivia, She enjoyed for the first time a sensation of a stroke and we all enjoy to be taken drunk by the pure smell of a stable. Olivia behaved very well and Justyna apparently is more confident about the essays that she has ahead.

Rei Tekas

There are things that always touches me and still have an incommensurable effect in my feelings, the day can be negatively or positively affected by this events, Things that has the wand of disturbing my calmness is any news that comes out about hope or breakthroughs in the science or medicine regarding to the fight against the Cancer. Always that I read any news about this theme that comes in the News, I normally feel frustrate because if my feelings starts with limited hope when I read this articles it ends invariable full of No hope, All, always looks so distant that quickly I understand that the effects of this investigations will not interfere with my Cancer. My Cancer is in the ends of the the current state of the art what I am not sure if is enough. Today, there was more news about the possibility to diagnose a Cancer or see if there is recurrence just through a normal blood test.

But also there was good things in the day to make me smile, I had the visit of Tekas after few years in Indonesia without showing himself for us, he is a good example of following the heart and adventurous through this short life. I am happy that all is going good with him. Also, at the moment I am having the visit of Sergio, He is moving now to England and meanwhile is staying few days in our house.

Still on the game

So as happen with Sporting of Lisbon I also survived to the North and cold fields and we are both still on game. It was a great journey this days among the friendly spirit of Liverpool, The atmosphere was very warm in spite of the cold and gray days. It is funny to confirm what it looks like a universal rule, that the people from the North are more authentic and more open than in the South. John's mum and family are so lovely. I only need to confess that I had broken all the rules from the Lent, I had the best time and I had the fattest food since ever, my Liver was not so exited as me, But those days meant to be my days. We also traveled across England to go to the East Coast in Lincolnshire. Were busy but very fulfill days, Thank you Mike again for the tickets. Yesterday, I even went to Veena to say hello to the family.

Footbal match ahead

Again I was caught in fault, Proving how far from the reality and the normality we are living, The days compassed by the beat of the working days or school days are out of this home, Today I went for a rhyme session, but the room was empty, nobody there, and this because we are at half term, kids are in holidays. Frustrating and Olivia was left only with a cold walk around home.

Tomorrow, it will be a special day for me, I will be out of home for the first time, apart of overnights in the Hospital. Yes, I will go to Liverpool with John and Mike to assist the football match between Everton and Sporting Lisbon, It will be funny to watch alive match after more than 8 years, even if the task for Sporting looks very difficult seeing their poor form this year. But tomorrow the least important will be the result, but to be with friends and review John's family.

Valentine's day

In additionally to a lot of defects that overflows in me, and Justyna knows better than any other one is the fact of not being a Latin romantic animal. With that, you will understand why days as today it was never a very special day for me, not only because of not having always a girl friend to share the tradition, But I also have my things, and between showing the Love through a sad orphan flower or hiding the most sincere feeling in words or intentions, I always will choose the second way.

Then, we decided to our love be remembered through the most normal things in the day, having a lovely breakfast out and just look deeply in each other to remember how much we love each other.

Finally some sleep

Surprisingly, this morning when I woke up I realised that in fact I did sleep through the night, It was the first time since Monday that I rested, instead I did not past the time reading or drawing to fill up the white night. I hope is the sign that the effects are now getting behind again, at least until next session. Then, I felt more confident to go out for a walk with Olivia, It was very cold but my brain also is please with the fresh air. In the afternoon we had the visit of our friends Jane and John, It was a very relaxing afternoon/evening, We listen the stories from John, that just arrived from Poland and Jane is ahead for a trip to the South... of England

World Press Photo

It is not because of the lack of sleep that I have had tonight or neither for the infection in the Olivia's throat that I am in shock. It could be to the big mess in the corridors of the power in Portugal that I would be scandalized today, but I confess, Here, nothing else amazes me. So which event has horrified me? In fact this feeling happens every year at this time, by the time is announced the final prizes for the sick contest about photos, I am referring to the World Press Photo. It is a outrage to violated the people intimacy and even bring the suffering and pain of the anonymous Human Being in the most simplest way to the stage. I do not believe in any moral or ethic behind that last shoots, The prizes are not do defend the best photographer as an artist or journalist but to give the Gold to the most opportunistic shooter.

How can some people feel comfortable to snatch this prizes and commendations above the other people or even help to bury others as I saw in a picture in Somalia. We are all sick co-citizens.